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40 Things You’ll Never Hear A Southern Man Say

  • Thread starter Thread starter MysteryMachine
  • Start date Start date Dec 1, 2005

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
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Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#1
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #1
Gf sent this to me in an email had to post it up just be cause of #1 lol I made the top

40 Things You’ll Never Hear A Southern Man Say

Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex.

Duct tape won't fix that.

Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.

Come to think of it, I will have a martini.

We don't keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

You can't feed that to the dog.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe

Wrestling's fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We're vegetarians.

Do you think my gut is too big?

I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

Honey, we don't need another dog.

Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

Too many deer heads detract from the décor.

Spittin' is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

Trim the fat off that steak.

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

The tires on that truck are too big.

I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

I've got it all on the C: drive.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

Checkmate.

She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

Hey, here's an episode of "Hee-Haw" that we haven't seen.

I don't have a favorite college team.

Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

You All.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'.

Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin'.
 

Blackened302

Active Member
Jul 21, 2005
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Dec 1, 2005
#2
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #2
lol, that's some funny ****
 

95Vert

New Member
Aug 19, 2004
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Dec 1, 2005
#3
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #3
The last one is right on.lol
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
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39
Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#4
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #4
Damn Nacho you working late?
 

timeless2

Vi Veri Veni Versum Vicus Vici
Admin Dude
Nov 29, 1999
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the Shadow Gallery
Dec 1, 2005
#5
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #5
 

95Vert

New Member
Aug 19, 2004
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North Mexico (deep south Texas)
Dec 1, 2005
#6
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #6
I'm not at work, I'm in between classes. Next isn't til 5.45pm.
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
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Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#7
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #7
Oh what you taking
 

95Vert

New Member
Aug 19, 2004
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North Mexico (deep south Texas)
Dec 1, 2005
#8
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #8
Small business management. It's a pretty cool class except for that 22 page business plan we had to do.
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
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39
Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#9
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #9
eh that blows
 

xr8d302

I bought a 27" monitor to compensate for my lack o
Apr 29, 2004
1,113
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36
Medicine Hat, AB
Dec 1, 2005
#10
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #10
Very Funny! Great post! Will read again. A++++ Great Stangnetter
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
2
39
Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#11
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #11
xr8d302 said:
Very Funny! Great post! Will read again. A++++ Great Stangnetter
Click to expand...



:ZipIt: crapola :ZipIt: lol
 

Blackened302

Active Member
Jul 21, 2005
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36
South TX
Dec 1, 2005
#12
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #12
xr8d302 said:
Very Funny! Great post! Will read again. A++++ Great Stangnetter
Click to expand...
lay off teh ebay
 

95Vert

New Member
Aug 19, 2004
1,785
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0
North Mexico (deep south Texas)
Dec 1, 2005
#13
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #13
Another thing you'll never hear a southerner say is "Sure I'll make out with him for $50" lol
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
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39
Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#14
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #14
LOL wheres Joe from ha ha
 

95Vert

New Member
Aug 19, 2004
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0
North Mexico (deep south Texas)
Dec 1, 2005
#15
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #15
Delaware, I already checked it out.
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
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39
Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#16
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #16
ha ha i better watch out when i go there to go shopping
 

Blackened302

Active Member
Jul 21, 2005
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36
South TX
Dec 1, 2005
#17
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #17
someone chop a pic of him to look like one of those old west criminal photos!! it'll say something like "warning: do not come within 100 ft of this man with $50. he will bla bla bla", for example.
 

GRGT1994

New Member
Sep 22, 2004
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Dec 1, 2005
#18
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #18
Here's another one to add to the list:

"That shirt isn't pink, it's salmon."
 

MysteryMachine

Active Member
Jun 21, 2003
1,835
2
39
Parkesburg, PA
Dec 1, 2005
#19
  • Dec 1, 2005
  • #19
LOL I don't care what Aaron says that sucker was pink
 
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