I'm sorry to see that you didn't achieve the level of drunkenness like we're used to seeing from the youth over here. You know, the ones that go something like this:
"I jsut wnna telle yuo giys how mcuh I reALly ****** luv yuo ********. Yre da bst!"
Hahaha, that reminds me of the Family Guy movie (at least I think it was the movie) when Stewie and Brian get drunk at the bar and Stewie convinces Brian that he should drive.