One less competing for new Stang.....

Hello, I was actually on here last week just to see what was up. I've actually been feeling good recently, a little stronger and more energy. I've been doing a lot of traveling and hanging out with family and friends. We have a lot of travel plans for the summer. I've also been doing exercise, I bought a new Gary Fisher mountain bike last and I've been doing about 3-4 miles a day. Not much but it keeps the blood moving. All the arrangements have been made and everyone and everything should be well taken care of when the time comes. I got rid of a lot of junk I had lying around and sold off unfinished project cars. My wife will be in charge of everything, but my brother and his wife are going to help her maintain things. I stopped working, they let me out ahead of schedule without any penalty to my benefits. I made some good investments in real estate and in the market as well as decent insurance coverage so the family should be financially secure. We considered selling the house for something a little smaller and more manageable but her family and my family live right in the same area. We are basically in the same neighborhood, so she will stay close by to everyone so they could help out if need be. Its been rough on her, she keeps asking what she will do when I'm gone. I told her that I am okay with her meeting someone when I'm gone. She did not appreciate that. Now she keeps promising me that she never wants anyone else, that once I'm gone she is going to raise the kids on her own and that is that, and I tell her that its fine and that she should move on a best she can. Its hard for me to say that to her, but I know that deep down it will be good for her and the kids to find someone that will respect them and take care of them. But she refuses and she is really a wreck. She is up all night sometimes crying. She is so scared of being without me. I just don't know what to do or say. She pretty independent, she is very smart and knows how to manage things, but after being together most our lives, how the hell can we be without eachother. It tears me up inside too. I would always get up and hold her at night when she cries but she would always cover up and put on the tough guy act in front of me because she doesn't want me to worry about her. Now she doesn't do that so much, and she will cry in my arms. So I think it will be easier the more we talk about it and just let our emotions out in the open.
I've read through all the threads and I appreciate the good words and support. Many have asked for my location offered charity, and my family and I appreciate it but it is not neccesary. What you could do, I've actually been to a few hospitals and I visited a few of the childrens cancer sections. I've lived my life, not as long as I should but still enough to be happy. I have a wife and we are still crazy for eachother like two teenagers even after 16 yrs of being together and brought two kids into the world. I've lived comfortably for the past few years and I've been able to make a little easier for both our families. Many of these children don't have the oppurtunity to experience that and many times it is because of the costs of health care. Also, there is never enough to be spent on research. So, if someone wants to do something, these kids are the ones that deserve the most help. I'll tell you what, I keep hearing people say how strong I am and what not but these kids are really tough. They put me to shame. It's really something to see them go through all that and still they are able to laugh and smile at the end of the day and never lose hope. I know St. Jude is a big charity for kids, I'm not sure of any others. Well the wife is out grocery shopping and the oldest is at school and the youngest is taking a nap. I think I will take this time to hit the PS2....lol. Thanks everyone and you'll see me on here from time to time argueing and debating with you all.

Hey all, just checking on some email and I remember you guys. I ended up going to the NYC auto show last month. It was real nice. I really like the 05. It looks goo. I'm doing well, hanging in there best I can. Things have gotten a little more aggressive and I'm taking meds for pain. We have been traveling alot and I got to see a great deal of people. Next week I am going to CA for 10 days and we are going to see some family and have a good time. I'm not going to make it to Europe as I planned. Once back from CA I will stay around home and people are going to come see me. Im sorry I have a hard time remember to type. My wife is much stronger now, and has really been there for me last couple weeks. She has taken teh rest of the summer off so the four of us will be together. I've slowed down a bit but I can still get around pretty well. The meds drain energy, but makes the pain go away. Thanks all for the good thoughts. This will probably be my last post. Its been good talking about Stangs with you all. Bless You all.