StangDreamin' said:Short joke: Three guys running down the street. Two guys run into a bar; the third one ducks. (Ba-dump-dump)
Long (blonde) joke: A man and his blonde wife are eating breakfast before he goes to work. DJ on the radio announces, "Well folks, the weatherman is predicting 4" of snow today. Everybody park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through." The wife runs out and moves her car - the husband will move his when he leaves for work.
One week later, again during their breakfast; the DJ announces, "Well folks it's gonna be another white day as the weatherman is predicting 6" of snow. Park your cars on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through". The blonde wife jumps up and moves her car, the husband - well, you know, he's going to work.
Another week goes by, same song, third verse; except, just as the DJ starts saying, "Park your cars on the.." Z-Z-ZAP!!! The power goes out and the radio dies.
AS the man sips his coffee, the blonde wife becomes increasingly agitated and exclaims, "Oh honey, what do I do? How will I know what side of the street to park on???"
The man puts down his coffee, folds his paper and, with all the love and patience a man could have for his blonde wife; gently suggests:
"Honey, how about you just leave it in the garage today?"
Swede958 said:(Warning- a bit racy, but ya get the good humor if you're a texan)
The Hopkinator said:The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport. "You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously. "Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
That was all I had at the moment.....
Another variant of basically the same joke...The Hopkinator said:That was all I had at the moment.....
Edbert said:this is pretty funny...
>
> Last Child Support Check.....
>
> Today is my daughters 18th birthday! I'm so
> glad that this is my last child support payment.
> Month after month, year after year, those payments!
>
> I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she got here,
> I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to
> your mama's house; you tell her that this is the last check she's ever
> going to get from me, then I want you to come back here and tell me
> the expression she had on her face."
>
> So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear
> what the witch had to say and what her mama looked like.
>
> As my baby girl walked back though the door, I said, "Well now, what
> did she have to say?"
>
> "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy."
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