OK... I used to be for gay marraige. Then they decided that the only place in the NW you could do it is SE 501 Hawthorne. Guess where I live? SE Hawthorne. The traffic is INSANE and I cant drive like I usually do because there are helicopters and pairs of excited butch dykes everywhere. So... I have a proposition.
Let's do what the religious conservatives want. Lets create law that defines marraige like it is told EXACTLY in the Bible. Let's go over what it says so that I can get this written up into law;
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Sound OK? After all... Homosexuality is bad because it says so in the Bible. I figured everything should then be as it says.
This is gonna be fun. I'm gonna go look for a second wife here in a bit when the f^&*ing TRAFFIC clears up and all these women in comfortable shoes get off my sidewalk.
Chris
(I didnt do all this research. Thanks to http://www.thecommongood.org/CGN/3_3/biblicalmarriage.html for the points.)
Let's do what the religious conservatives want. Lets create law that defines marraige like it is told EXACTLY in the Bible. Let's go over what it says so that I can get this written up into law;
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Sound OK? After all... Homosexuality is bad because it says so in the Bible. I figured everything should then be as it says.
This is gonna be fun. I'm gonna go look for a second wife here in a bit when the f^&*ing TRAFFIC clears up and all these women in comfortable shoes get off my sidewalk.
Chris
(I didnt do all this research. Thanks to http://www.thecommongood.org/CGN/3_3/biblicalmarriage.html for the points.)