Advice needed (about a woman)

TheWolf

New Member

Jan 13, 2003

257

0

0

NC

Jan 23, 2004

#1

• Jan 23, 2004

• #1

Ok, I met this girl I really like. She loves old cars, has a great sense of humor, and basically a lot of fun to hang out with. Well, we just started "dating" and her ex-fiance' has come back around. She says she doesn't know what she wants. I got a feeling this won't work out for me. Should I go ahead and bow out gracefully now, or should I try to win her? any advice?

 

chepsk8

Founding Member

Jan 15, 2001

2,203

3

49

Easton, PA

Jan 23, 2004

#2

• Jan 23, 2004

• #2

YOu should ask GBM for advice!!!

Seriously, it sounds like she's not sure, and you probably go nuts trying to woo her if she's not interested. Kill the romance, be an occasional friend, if she wants you, she'll come lookin for you. In the mean time, enjoy life, play with the cars, beer is always good, smile, and admire as many other women as possible. You may find a better one....

 

66 BLAKE 96

Native Texican

Founding Member

Feb 16, 2001

4,810

0

0

Cowtown

Jan 23, 2004

#3

• Jan 23, 2004

• #3

Lots of woman advice here lately.

Play it cool. Act like you don't care. Don't ignore her, just act secure, like you know you are the best thing going and she will realize it soon enough. Its not game-playing, it is anti-game.

Think about it this way:
If she's still hot for the ex, nothing you can do will change that. However, if you play it off, one of 3 things will happan...
A) she is so bewildered by the fact that you aren't bending over backwards for her attention, she will short circuit and have to persue you out of sheer curiosity.
B) she will be so amazed/impressed by your show of security and confidence that she will be all the more attracted to you.
C) you leave the cage door open, and this bird flies away, unfortunate maybe, but you've invested the least amount of time possible, or more importantly, the least amount of your heart. That way, you know it wasn't meant to be, and you aren't crushed.

I used this same strategy with my wife before we were married. We'd been dating a few months, then she hears from an old (potential) boyfriend and wanted to know one way or another if the spark was still there. I not only didn't object, I drove her to the airport so she could visit him out of state! She spent a couple days there, and flew back as soon as she could, knowing now that this poor shmoe in Atlanta couldn't hold a candle to me.

 

S

speedy66

Founding Member

Jun 20, 2000

629

0

0

glendale,arizona,usa

Jan 23, 2004

#4

• Jan 23, 2004

• #4

Here's my advice... Since just recently gave up trying to get back with my ex-fiance..

Guys if they know they had a good thing will try to keep that.. I tried for 6 weeks to get back with her.. Till I found out she's dating a druggie (left me for him)... Best advice I can give.. Tell her EXACTLY how you feel... Im dating a girl right now that stupid me didnt tell her how I felt, and she almost went back with her ex until I told her how I felt.

Girls love Honesty.. BE HONEST always.. If you dont have trust and honesty you have NOTHING!

I some what agree with Blake.. But dont be afraid to talk to her about it. tell her your feelings..

 

6

65fastback

New Member

May 16, 2002

18

0

0

canada

Jan 23, 2004

#5

• Jan 23, 2004

• #5

If she doesn,t know, then it is time for you to cut her loose until she can figure it out. Do not give her the chance to bounce back and forth until she has bled you both dry (emotionally), this is a no win situation for you, just tell her to call you when she is sure who/what she wants and at that time if you are still available you can talk. Life goes on and it does not revolve around one person. Her I don,t know attitude should be a red flag to you, and with the ex-fiancé coming back around he is still wanting something from her weather it is another chance at a possible relationship or what is in her pants, but he is back and she is responding to his return. Get out and keep looking do not bring emotional distress on yourself, it will eventually find you on its own, it always does, it is just part of life.

 

Pakrat

Founding Member

Aug 6, 2000

3,843

0

56

Currently: NH Originally: Rhode Island (and all po

Jan 23, 2004

#6

• Jan 23, 2004

• #6

I'm siding with the Tao of Blake on this one.

 

K:^P

Member

Apr 25, 2003

67

2

9

OCCal/BACal

Jan 23, 2004

#7

• Jan 23, 2004

• #7

I would go into the 'Alpha-male' mode and win her heart. I don't like going on life later thinking that I didn't do my all to convience her that she deserve the best.


Don't let some other guy take her away from you...

 

HistoricMustang

Active Member

Apr 11, 2003

2,359

0

46

Confederate States of America

Jan 23, 2004

#8

• Jan 23, 2004

• #8

Ignor, Ignor, Ignor. They can not stand to be ignored!

They got what you want and they know they got what you want and they know you will make a fool out of yourself to get what they have.

As you get older you will realize that they actually want what you have and they will call you to get it.

Ignor, Ignor, Ignor.

HistoricMustang
www.historicmustang.com

HistoricMustang
www.historicmustang.com

 

groovyash

Ask me about my chemically burned nipples!

Founding Member

Mar 8, 1999

754

0

0

Pittsburgh, PA

Jan 23, 2004

#9

• Jan 23, 2004

• #9

As I get older I have discovered there is a far better feeling left after failing at something I have tried than regretting something I wanted but did not try to achieve.

Dan

 

2nd Mustang

Founding Member

Feb 24, 2002

2,488

0

46

Southern California

Jan 23, 2004

#10

• Jan 23, 2004

• #10

Ex-fiance? Confused? Both equal bad news, have been there myself. It took quite awhile, but have finally found a really nice lady who I can laugh and be serious with. Playing games gets you nowhere.....just my opinion.

Good luck...........

 

U

usedtobe 67p51d

New Member

Jul 8, 2003

208

0

0

let's tear up golfcourses and build race tracks!

Jan 23, 2004

#11

• Jan 23, 2004

• #11

does she share the same values as you? same ethics? I would tell her to figure out what she wants and come find you. however you might want to tell her to grab sample before....just to make sure he he

 

TheWolf

New Member

Jan 13, 2003

257

0

0

NC

Jan 24, 2004

#12

• Jan 24, 2004

• #12

She and I do share the same values. She has been up front with me about this completely as far as I know. He bought her a dimond necklace for Christmas (thats when he first started coming around) then last Monday he left flowers and a card on her porch. He met her after class and she told him all about me. When she told me all about it and how confused she was, I just told her right away, how I felt and thought. She told me she would be praying looking for guidance this week. I have talked to her every night since then, but I have not brought it back up. When I talk to her, an hour goes by like 10 minutes. He asked her to pick him up from the airport tonight, which I didn't object to.
The guy has serious depression problems. He let her down twice before (that I know of), and I know I'm much more stable and realiable than him. If she still loves the guy though, I don't think theres much I can say or do.

 

S

speedy66

Founding Member

Jun 20, 2000

629

0

0

glendale,arizona,usa

Jan 24, 2004

#13

• Jan 24, 2004

• #13

she will always love him.. but love tends to change shape.. My ex fiances of 3 1/2 years left me for her roommate 4 days after we were making wedding plans.. I still lover her but not like I used to.. Thats what you need to figure out if she does, and to what degree.

 

12sec67

Active Member

Oct 6, 2003

1,301

1

36

San Diego, Ca

Jan 25, 2004

#14

• Jan 25, 2004

• #14

66 BLAKE 96 said:

Lots of woman advice here lately.

Play it cool. Act like you don't care. Don't ignore her, just act secure, like you know you are the best thing going and she will realize it soon enough. Its not game-playing, it is anti-game.

Think about it this way:
If she's still hot for the ex, nothing you can do will change that. However, if you play it off, one of 3 things will happan...
A) she is so bewildered by the fact that you aren't bending over backwards for her attention, she will short circuit and have to persue you out of sheer curiosity.
B) she will be so amazed/impressed by your show of security and confidence that she will be all the more attracted to you.
C) you leave the cage door open, and this bird flies away, unfortunate maybe, but you've invested the least amount of time possible, or more importantly, the least amount of your heart. That way, you know it wasn't meant to be, and you aren't crushed.

I used this same strategy with my wife before we were married. We'd been dating a few months, then she hears from an old (potential) boyfriend and wanted to know one way or another if the spark was still there. I not only didn't object, I drove her to the airport so she could visit him out of state! She spent a couple days there, and flew back as soon as she could, knowing now that this poor shmoe in Atlanta couldn't hold a candle to me.

Click to expand...

this works!!!!

i did this to my, now - soon to be wife

 

TheWolf

New Member

Jan 13, 2003

257

0

0

NC

Jan 26, 2004

#15

• Jan 26, 2004

• #15

She decided she wanted to go back to the other guy. Time for a little qaulity time with some beer and then start looking again.
I just don't get it, shes the one that started the relationship.

 

TxFrog1999

Founding Member

Jan 29, 2001

1,521

0

36

Arlington, TX

Jan 26, 2004

#16

• Jan 26, 2004

• #16

Blake is wise beyond his years.

My wife before we began dating was getting calls from former boyfriends and hanging out with other guys. We were both interested in each other but seeing how many others wanted a piece I stayed back played the good friend and essentially cooled any major emotional activities we had for about three weeks. After that her best friend stopped me and told me that if I didn't ask her out soon she was going to go nuts and of course the best friend (a rather large hispanic female with the attitude to back up her threats) would kick my ass

In the end she was so fed up with those other losers that she realized I was the better man, and someone who would do her right. I didn't play the knight charging in to swoop her off her feet, I just played the white knight who would look after her as she took time to decide what she wanted.

 

TheWolf

New Member

Jan 13, 2003

257

0

0

NC

Jan 28, 2004

#17

• Jan 28, 2004

• #17

I'm not bitter or anything. I'll remain her friend and if she sees the light then great. If not, theres lots of ladies out there.

 

U

usedtobe 67p51d

New Member

Jul 8, 2003

208

0

0

let's tear up golfcourses and build race tracks!

Jan 28, 2004

#18

• Jan 28, 2004

• #18

guys just remember no matter hoiw hot or cool she is ....that there must be somebody who's sick of her! more beer! happily married, and four boys!

 

S

speedy66

Founding Member

Jun 20, 2000

629

0

0

glendale,arizona,usa

Jan 28, 2004

#19

• Jan 28, 2004

• #19

Kinda took txfrog1999s. But deviated a little. Kind of seeing this girl but her ex was still in the picture she couldnt decide what to do.. she would hang out with me everyday.. call me.. do all that crazy stuf.. Finally one day I had enough of being 'the other' man that I told her I couldnt do this anymore.. I am going to back away and let her be with him and that I wanted her to do what made her happy.. 2 days later.. she was mine!