Almost 4 years later! Now what am I in for?

Address it from the simplest to start. Make sure you anti-theft system is not activated. Make sure your battery is good and the connections on the terminals are good. Look through the engine compartment and make sure everything is connected. Look it over twice. Actually touch the connections to make sure they are firmly connected. Make sure there is no debris or any liquids that got into the spark plug chambers. Once you have confirmed that everything is straight, then start the car and look for a CEL. Scan the ECU while you're at it. If no CEL, then while it is running go over the connections again. Gently wiggle them to see if it gets better or worse. If that leads to a dead end, then while it is running, try disconnecting some of the wires one at a time to see if the problem gets better or worse. Start with the Spark plug coils, then try the fuel injectors, and so on. If you get to a wire and disconnect it and the idle quality changes then move on to the next one and see if the change is similar. If there is no change in the idle quality, or if the change is noticeably less than the others that you disconnected, then the problem is with that wire/sensor/plug/injector/whatever. If all this doesn't give you any definite leads, then take the spark plugs out and look them over. Make sure they are all intact and properly gapped. Look at the tips and the ceramic. Make sure the spring and boot on each coil is making good contact. And make sure the boot is not ripped or sliced or anything. Other things to check...

Turn the key to the "On" position but do not start the engine...listen for the fuel pump to engage
Make sure you are getting fuel pressure to the schrader valve
Go in the trunk and make sure the fuel disengage switch has not been activated
Check all your fuses
Make sure the Cam Position sensor is connected
Go under the car and make sure the Crankshaft position sensor is connected

Now some questions. Is it turning over at all? Will it start? If so, does it stay running or does it shut off? Do you have to keep your foot on the gas to keep it running? When it is running, does it sound like it's missing?

These cars like to be driven, it is amazing how many problems will come from lack of use. Check under the hood for mice nests. If the mice got in there you will have trouble.

Off topic. Moth balls are gross. I used them in my boat once and regretted it. I recommend dryer sheets instead. Critters hate them and the car smells decent afterwards.

If you have metal in the oil then it is possible you messed up your bearings during a dry start...