There is a hunter that loves to go hunting with his buddies. This time, however, he decides to take his wife along instead. He buys her all sorts of gear to stay warm, packs hot food, etc, in order to entice her to go.
He approaches her while she's still in bed at 4:00am. He's fully dressed in his gear and announces, "Honey, you've got three choices this morning: You can suck my d1ck, take in the the a$$, or you can go hunting with me for the day."
The wife thinks about it for a bit. She ponders these horrible choices, of which none sound all that great. She hates hunting, is repulsed by the thought of taking it in the poop chute, and finally decides on the blow job.
"OK, I hate all three choices, so I guess I'll pick the least offensive--I'll give you the blow job."
The husband says "Great, let me go get the dog loaded up and I'll be right back in."
So, he goes outside and returns about 10 minutes later.
He drops his pants and approaches the bedside where his wife is. She proceeds to service him. All is fine until she latches on, gags, and exclaims, "Oh my god, this tastes like $hit! What the hell is going on?!"
He replies, "Well, there was sort of a situation outside......the dog didn't want to go hunting either."