thank you everyone who read and replied to my post, I ended up using the magical WD-40 to clean my oil pan and a razor blade to scrape up the 20 year old gasket, there was a nice inch or so of sludge but the oil looked good otherwise, no water in it, no metal shavings either
because I was mounting the pan from underneath, on one side of the pan I put some motor oil on my finger and rubbed it on the gasket and the block to get it to stick but it did not, the other side of the pan went on dry (this is going to be an experiment to see if it leaks or not) and like my friend Bob the gear head used to say if it leaks oil that means there's oil in her, or PLS, Pavement Lubrication System
as far as torquing the oil pan bolts, my Haynes manual says 5/16 inch to 12 ft lbs, and 1/4 inch to 8 ft lbs, I don't know what they are smoking as my bolts were 7/16 on the sides, and two 1/2 inch each on front and back, so I torqued all of them to 12 ft lbs, and got a feeling that may have been too tight, so I'm filing this under lessoned learned
found the part number on my oil pan D5ZE-6675-AB it's got the magical "Z" for Mustang in it, so now I feel like I belong here, the engine mounts have "Zs" in them too, here's some pics of the before and after shots