State Mental Hospital
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
>> >> Please select from the following options menu:
>> >> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>> >> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>> >> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>> >> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the
>> >> line so we can trace your call.
>> >> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
>> >> Mother Ship.
>> >> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
>> >> you which number to press.
>> >> If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
>> >> nothing will make you happy anyway.
>> >> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
>> >> If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the
>> >> beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>> >> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
>> >> memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>> >> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too busy
>> >> to talk with you.
>> >> If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie
>> >> down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
>> >> If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
>> >> This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
>> >> You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable
>> >> person to show you care.
>> >> Well, my job is done .....Your turn.
>>
>>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
>> >> Please select from the following options menu:
>> >> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>> >> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>> >> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>> >> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the
>> >> line so we can trace your call.
>> >> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
>> >> Mother Ship.
>> >> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
>> >> you which number to press.
>> >> If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
>> >> nothing will make you happy anyway.
>> >> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
>> >> If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the
>> >> beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>> >> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
>> >> memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>> >> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too busy
>> >> to talk with you.
>> >> If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie
>> >> down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
>> >> If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
>> >> This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
>> >> You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable
>> >> person to show you care.
>> >> Well, my job is done .....Your turn.
>>
>>