... been stung by a scorpion.
So there we are finishing a nice family dinner. The Wife says there is a scorpion in the kitchen. Here I come to the rescue, big strong man crush little bitty scorpion ( guess where this is going). So I get out a spatula to chop it in half (I have to see the damage so something small like a spatula is perfect). I strike with the speed a cobra (I am 2/3s through a bottle of red wine at this time... not so fast). The scorpion is gone, under the dishwasher is my best guess, there is no trace of severed body parts (***** I missed). So I pull out the dishwasher and it is nowhere to be found. Screw it. I am wrapping up the leftover chicken parm I spent the last 1hr and 45min cooking and the little fu**er stings me in the pinkie toe at the fridge. So I say " Shi*, what was that"? Then I see it scurry off under the fridge. I said "The scorpion just stung me". The kids are now terrified, up on our bar stools thinking I am going to die. The wife isn't having this. She rips the fridge off the wall, damn near rips off the water line out of the wall, grabs her broom and proceeds to kill the ever living hell out of the scorpion. I'm not joking, she mashed his ass like potatoes on thanksgiving. I'm fine, the kids got over it, the only thing that hurts is my pride. Stupid scorpion.
So there we are finishing a nice family dinner. The Wife says there is a scorpion in the kitchen. Here I come to the rescue, big strong man crush little bitty scorpion ( guess where this is going). So I get out a spatula to chop it in half (I have to see the damage so something small like a spatula is perfect). I strike with the speed a cobra (I am 2/3s through a bottle of red wine at this time... not so fast). The scorpion is gone, under the dishwasher is my best guess, there is no trace of severed body parts (***** I missed). So I pull out the dishwasher and it is nowhere to be found. Screw it. I am wrapping up the leftover chicken parm I spent the last 1hr and 45min cooking and the little fu**er stings me in the pinkie toe at the fridge. So I say " Shi*, what was that"? Then I see it scurry off under the fridge. I said "The scorpion just stung me". The kids are now terrified, up on our bar stools thinking I am going to die. The wife isn't having this. She rips the fridge off the wall, damn near rips off the water line out of the wall, grabs her broom and proceeds to kill the ever living hell out of the scorpion. I'm not joking, she mashed his ass like potatoes on thanksgiving. I'm fine, the kids got over it, the only thing that hurts is my pride. Stupid scorpion.