I know what you mean it still does me that way to this day.What really messed me up was by 2am state trooper finally found out who she was and needed me to ID her,Now he told me by law they couldnt clean her up any until properly Id'ed.The trooper had me go outside the house so that parents wouldnt know that he was gonna ask me to do it.I told my parents I would go and get her belongings from the hospital....to this day they DO NOT know I had to do that.They hospital did not try to hide anything,they handed me a large envelope with her jewelry.....blood soaked that is,well lets just say the trooper had to kindly escort me out...like I was gonna take that home to my parents.