I hate when Mustangs attract REDNECKS

LMFAO @ the ricer story, classic ricewars

I have many rice stories but none of them compare to my hobo story.

So one sunday morning a few years back, I woke up early to cover my best friends shift at his shop. I decided to leave the apt a little early to wash my stang in the back of the shop since I had just washed my mitts and shammies the night before we left. I go out to my 87 which at the time had a broken drivers window(from another douchbag breaking into my car and stealing ****) and am at the door key in hand (kinda tarded since it had no window) as I notice a lage mass huddled behind my seat, just that second hobo bob turned around and scared the **** outta me. I was in shock for a second, then with my wits returning yelled at the top of my lungs "WTF"
He got out and with his head down and as he passed the only thing I could say was " not cool man, not ****ing cool". I got in my car, took a quick inventory (not much around as is gutted) and drove off. On my way to the shop I was thinking about the situation and started to feel pretty bad about yelling at the hobo. I remembered the night before it had rained and was pretty cold, I figuered he just wanted someplace out of the wet and cold.
I made a stop at a kragen to pick up some soap and noticed he had taken a hobo shower with my freshly cleaned mitts (they were black as night) and reeked of hobo ass.
So I bought another pair and now wasn't feeling so bad about yelling.
Get done washing and it hits me , "where are my shammies?"
Not in the bucket, not in the trunk, ah under the seat, but wait why is it rock hard and stuck crooked. crack it open to find my cracker jack suprise, dried baby butter.
Cmon, really????
Yeah, really.

projectslo5oh said:

crack it open to find my cracker jack suprise, dried baby butter.
Cmon, really????
Yeah, really.

Click to expand...

Hahaha, that is the icing on the cake! Pun intended!

The only thing you can do is look at the upside...At least he didnt deposit man load on the interior

hobo story for the win!

I drive two cars. One is the 5.0 you see in my avatar. The other is a Saturn coupe. I find that the drivers around me all tend to get aggressive when I'm in the 5.0. It's like the car itself is perceived as issuing a challenge or something. What get's me the most is that it's the people driving lame cars like minivans etc. that often get the most excitable.

When I first started driving the 5.0 I quickly realized that if I didn't put the psychological brakes on, so to speak, I would end up in some kind of a defacto street race several times per trip. For example, the guy in the minivan or pick up truck just has to stay ahead of me, and I know that if I speed up he'll do the same - where both of us are way over speed limits.

Or, even stupider, are the people who seem to want to "race" me towards and into standing red lights. Passing me to get there first, as if it's some sort of accomplishment. It seems as if, in order to satisfy those around me, I'm expected to always be driving "fast".

When I drive my dd Saturn, none of this shyte ever happens. It can get really annoying. I've gotten better at ignoring it.

ALSO, I was recently peeved when a gas station attendant (in his late 40s) was passionately arguing with me that he had a car JUST like mine, and that it was an '85. I told him mine was a '91 and he looked at me as if I was full of it - as if I was lying to make the car seem less old. Yeah, like a '91 GT with the plastic fairing, cheese grater tail lights and areo front end could really be mistaken for an '85. I tried to educate him but things were starting to escalate.

I still remember the precise moment when I flicked the switch inside my head and just let it all go, paid my bill and drove away. I'm getting better at that sort of thing...