my oldest foster child took a step back.....

MI95Cobra · Nov 11, 2006

well tuesday, the father found a way around dhs to see the kids...the required parenting class that he's been half-assing around in, required 1 on 1 time with the kids supervised.....dhs tried to fight it because he was suppose to pass 3 consecutive drug test, take a pshyc evaluation, drug rehab, etc.... well this was since its required... well its been since feb since he saw the kids.... and the oldest started acting like he did when he last saw his dad...when he didn't get his way he would hit himself or try to hurt himself...he did that wed night with his counciler present...its getting annoying....

blksn955.o · Nov 11, 2006

Sorry to hear that man, sadly many psyhcs. believe that by the age of 7-8 (max) but normaly 4yrs or even younger behavior is a lost cause as far as acting out and getting good parenting in. Sad for the kids as they seem to have had none (cept you). Thats why the younger years are soo important...not that its ALWAYS 100% this way...just too often to like.

Again, this is a good thing your doing. At least they will at some point in thier young lives have some kind of parent. I hope the younger ones you have got to you soon enough for a bigger impact.

as always best of luck and

donkey_punch · Nov 11, 2006

blksn955.o said:
Sorry to hear that man, sadly many psyhcs. believe that by the age of 7-8 (max) but normaly 4yrs or even younger behavior is a lost cause as far as acting out and getting good parenting in. Sad for the kids as they seem to have had none (cept you). Thats why the younger years are soo important...not that its ALWAYS 100% this way...just too often to like.

Again, this is a good thing your doing. At least they will at some point in thier young lives have some kind of parent. I hope the younger ones you have got to you soon enough for a bigger impact.

as always best of luck and

+1

It takes alot of heart to take in children that are not your own. best of luck

zZsKyZz · Nov 11, 2006

How old is the kid?

Not to sound abusive or anything.. but if the child is old enough do you think a good slap would fix it? I mean.. I'm not all for beating your kids, but back in the day it worked.. I think all this ridilin and drugs are a waste...sometimes the kid just needs a good slap across the face.. I mean, most of our parents handled it that way, now it's wrong?

I mean, we turned out just fine.

MI95Cobra · Nov 11, 2006

well he's 7....its very frustrating, because we had to deal with it 9 months ago...and i'm not sure if i can deal with the issues again...to be honest, i'm getting tired abd after talking it over with my wife i think i only want to adopt 1 or maybe 2 of the kids...i feel bad about thinking this way, but i have to think of the future....i mean it might be different if it was only 2 to begin with but since the oldest is more or less brainwashed i can't reprogram him....so i'm hoping the dad gets them back...because if he does the middle child (6) wants to live with us and we have rights to fight for him since we have had them for 15 months and are family....to answer your question zzskyzz, i can only spank them...and its not often that i do that....the kids have had a hard life....i mean to know what drugs are at 3yrs old (that was the 7 yr old) he was putting grass clippings into a sandwich bag and when asked what he was doing he replied that he was collecting his weed, and to see your parents get arrested for domestic dispute(they saw their parents get into some hellish fights) examples: dad threw tv at mom (my sister) ,mom throwing whatever she could at dad ,ripped clothing, hitting, etc they even let the kids sleep with them (not unusual) but wouldn't get up and leave the room when they decided to have quality time (a form of sexual abuse) the oldest(7) was the first born so whatever he wanted he got ( not at my house though ), the youngest(4) and who happens to be the only girl whatever she cried for she got, the only one who didn't get their way was the middle child(6) he always got the leftovers or hand me downs....that why he wants to live with us...he's treated equal....hell the kids have never had as much stuff as they got now or got to do.... when they lived with their parents they went to a monster truck race once and camping at a local lake.....since having the kids they have been to chuck e cheese 5 times, movies 4 times, miniature golfing, have a ps2 w/ numerous games, going to the lake, bikes and scooters, going out to dinner, i'm not talking mcdonalds either, etc...... sorry to complain, but i'm really stressed since the visit....

sn-95matt5-0 · Nov 12, 2006

man i know your having troubles with this and i'm only a kid myself(still a senior in highschool)so i dont have any advice.......just a few encouraging words

seeing you do something like this shows me there still are good people and this world and i just want you to know that.....even if you only end up adopting 1 or 2 of them just look at the positive impact that you made on those lives....you really are a good guy and i have alot of respect for you for doing that and i just want to wish you all the luck with what ever happens

blksn955.o · Nov 12, 2006

Dont feel bad, your doing ALL you can. If just one of them comes out with a better look/chance/drive to be the best they can be or at least not like thier parents you worked a miracle...

Dont feel bad for the choices you are making to better the lives of these kids your doing more than the "real" parents (who are not parents at all). Your not God...your a good person doing the best he can to make a differance in someones life and when it comes down to it...thats all any of us can hope to do.

Adam95GT · Nov 12, 2006

still sounds like your doing a great job man sorry about the douche bag screwing **** up...

MI95Cobra · Nov 12, 2006

hey thanks....it seems to be going a little better(not much though )..... we was talking to the kids, that if we adopt them(yes all of them) we would match them dollar for dollar towards a car.... my middle child said that he would go and find my 1992 gt(i had built it up to 350hp) i had sold to buy my cobra and get it when he gets old enough....he's so cute...

blksn955.o · Nov 12, 2006

see your already making an impact...they are not young ricers .

that would be kinda cool to hear, talk about knowing your looked up to that he wants to track down and buy a car just because you had it.

MI95Cobra · Nov 12, 2006

i think he just wants to race a fast car...his favorite ps2 game is ford racing 3....

Adam95GT · Nov 12, 2006

i wish my parents could aford to give me a car... you saw that 84 mustang i posted... yea that was my dads... he gave it to me... it was towed in to the driveway... LOL

MI95Cobra · Nov 13, 2006

yeah, i didn't start getting into cars until about 4 yrs ago and i'm 28....my first cars was a little dodge p.o.s. after that i had a truck for 5yrs, then i started my adventures of different cars until my brother-n-law showed up with a 95 gt, after driving it i was like hell yeah i'm getting me a 5.0.....

Adam95GT · Nov 13, 2006

yea im 19 and ive owned about 6 cars and swapped the one out lol

Kornnut · Nov 13, 2006

I couldn't do what you are doing.

Pokageek · Nov 13, 2006

MI95Cobra said:
well he's 7....its very frustrating, because we had to deal with it 9 months ago...and i'm not sure if i can deal with the issues again...to be honest, i'm getting tired abd after talking it over with my wife i think i only want to adopt 1 or maybe 2 of the kids...i feel bad about thinking this way, but i have to think of the future....i mean it might be different if it was only 2 to begin with but since the oldest is more or less brainwashed i can't reprogram him....so i'm hoping the dad gets them back...because if he does the middle child (6) wants to live with us and we have rights to fight for him since we have had them for 15 months and are family....to answer your question zzskyzz, i can only spank them...and its not often that i do that....the kids have had a hard life....i mean to know what drugs are at 3yrs old (that was the 7 yr old) he was putting grass clippings into a sandwich bag and when asked what he was doing he replied that he was collecting his weed, and to see your parents get arrested for domestic dispute(they saw their parents get into some hellish fights) examples: dad threw tv at mom (my sister) ,mom throwing whatever she could at dad ,ripped clothing, hitting, etc they even let the kids sleep with them (not unusual) but wouldn't get up and leave the room when they decided to have quality time (a form of sexual abuse) the oldest(7) was the first born so whatever he wanted he got ( not at my house though ), the youngest(4) and who happens to be the only girl whatever she cried for she got, the only one who didn't get their way was the middle child(6) he always got the leftovers or hand me downs....that why he wants to live with us...he's treated equal....hell the kids have never had as much stuff as they got now or got to do.... when they lived with their parents they went to a monster truck race once and camping at a local lake.....since having the kids they have been to chuck e cheese 5 times, movies 4 times, miniature golfing, have a ps2 w/ numerous games, going to the lake, bikes and scooters, going out to dinner, i'm not talking mcdonalds either, etc...... sorry to complain, but i'm really stressed since the visit....

Damn, i didn't know parents could be so abusive and to have the kids sleeping wit hthem and . That's an abomination.

blksn955.o · Nov 13, 2006

MI95Cobra said:
yeah, i didn't start getting into cars until about 4 yrs ago and i'm 28....my first cars was a little dodge p.o.s. after that i had a truck for 5yrs, then i started my adventures of different cars until my brother-n-law showed up with a 95 gt, after driving it i was like hell yeah i'm getting me a 5.0.....

holy cow a late car bloomer . Damn I helped a buddy and his dad strip thier 64 malibu ss and installed a m20 4spd into his 66impala when I was 15...I love those cars so much I bought one when I was 17 and tought myself (with help from some body men) the body work. Everyone starts someplace and thank god you didnt start/end up a import "tuner".

Working on or around cars is a good way to get the kids minds off things and hell they just might learn something...god forbid

MI95Cobra · Nov 13, 2006

welll i guess better late then never about cars...now i know all the ins and outs of a efi 5.0 motor....

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