Preogramming a keyless entry remote

Sit down close the door. Turn your key from the off position to the on position, not cranking it. Do this like 8 times i think in sucession, after the 8th time or whatever the doors will lock and unlock. hit the lock button on all your remotes then turn it off and they should be programmed.
 
Alright, I have no owner's manual and the on / off thing didn't work. Any other suggestions? I called the dealership and asked where the transponder box is, they claim it in the trunk on the left hand side, but all I see is a fuel pump module. I did just buy this car and it may not have the box, but it has every other option so it would seem silly to be missing just the keyless entry system no? The dealership guy also claimed that it may be a schematic from a different year car or a coupe.
 
then you're not doing it right. you turn it from the off position to the on position (where it is when you're dirivng) but NOT to the part where you're cranking your car, and NOT back to the ACC-on position. just do this over and over and count how many times you do it until your doors lock and unlock its like 8 or 10 or something i dont remember.