If you want to go HARD at the lights, and don't care about your V8 doing 3500 rpm on the highway, get 4.11s. If you want to do a little more sedate 3000rpm at highway speed, you'll have to settle for something that's going to be slower off the line, like 3.89 or 3.70, or even 3.50, which still are pretty good for performance, just not as all out drag racey as 4.11s.
It all comes down to your opinion of what is going to wear your motor out. If you do over an hour per day of highway driving, you may feel 4.11s are wearing your engine out. You might feel however, that your engine is built to go 7000rpm all day, every day, and so 4.11s won't phase you. Personally I do think the number of times an engine has spun contributes to its wear state, but I think moreso that higher rpms under more load do more damage than lower rpms, or not much load. Also, I belive if you start an engine once, and it is never turned off for more than an hour or two, like some taxi motors are run, then wear will be GREATLY reduced, as the most wear occurs when engines are cold. What I mean by that is:
If you drive 30 min on the freeway within 5 min of starting your car every day after sitting for 7+ hours, they your engine will be wearing a lot. however,
If you do an hour of freeway driving within 5 min of starting your car every day after sitting for 7+ hours, then your engine wear will be approximately 115% of the wear of doing the above, because for the second 30 min, the engine is up to normal operating temp.
4.11s will increase the rpm of your motor at highway speed, but reduce the load on the motor. How much the load on the motor wears compared to the rpm of the motor is something that you have to decide for yourself.