Bud Light Salutes the Crimson Tide
Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional, Irrational Alabama
Fan.
Backup singer: Mr. Delusional, Irrational Alabama Faaaaaan!
Announcer: Season after season, year after year, you try to justify
your absurdly high pre-season ranking.
Backup singer: Why aren't we number one?
Announcer: You scramble to make futile attempts at damage control
when the Tide lose to a grossly inferior opponent.
Backup singer: Neeeeeed to hire Nick Sabannnnn!
Announcer: Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of
championships won 20 years before you were born.
Backup singer: Those were the daaaaaays!
Announcer: You will point out that you have more bowl wins than any other program, as though that is relevant to the current season.
Backup singer: Been playing since the 1880ssssss!
Announcer: Go on, ignore that home loss to your archrival in the
regular season finale for the 5th consecutive time in a row, and
continue to believe that you'll defeat your bowl opponent with
striking ease.
Backup singer: We'll still whoop that *** and win by thirtyyyyyyy!
Announcer: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of
Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the
top 25, you'll be back to number three when the pre-season polls come out next year.
Backup singer: Mr. Delusional, Irrational Alabama Fannnnnnn!