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The StangNet Joke Thread

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Ronin38

Blow all the things!
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#21
  • Jan 9, 2019
  • #21
 
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General karthief

wonder how much it would cost to ship you a pair
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#22
  • Jan 9, 2019
  • #22
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?I
Three. One to screw it in and two to relate to the experience
 
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Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#23
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #23
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack........
 

Ronin38

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#24
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #24
Davedacarpainter said:
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack........
Click to expand...
I thought it got wrapped around the chicken.
 
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Noobz347

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#25
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #25
Ronin38 said:
I thought it got wrapped around the chicken.
Click to expand...

That's the way I heard it. Pretty sure he screwed up the joke.
 

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#26
  • Feb 18, 2019
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Noobz347 said:
That's the way I heard it. Pretty sure he screwed up the joke.
Click to expand...
Nuh-uh

Besides, if it had truly got wrapped around the chicken, then it would have made it to the other side.

Check the facts Noobz, check the facts.....
 

Noobz347

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#27
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #27
Davedacarpainter said:
Nuh-uh

Besides, if it had truly got wrapped around the chicken, then it would have made it to the other side.

Check the facts Noobz, check the facts.....
Click to expand...


snopes.com said:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?
Click to expand...

So in conclusion: You clearly told it wrong.
 

Ronin38

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#28
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #28
I'll take two chickens...
**NSFW** No, Really, this is NSFW**
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWmGrR9a818
 
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Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#29
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #29
Noobz347 said:
So in conclusion: You clearly told it wrong.
Click to expand...
All I have to offer in reply is this, the REAL facts. Proof, not conjecture. Do not question me again Noobz.
 

Noobz347

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#30
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #30
Davedacarpainter said:
All I have to offer in reply is this, the REAL facts. Proof, not conjecture. Do not question me again Noobz.
Click to expand...

This would explain why the Middle East had no intel.
 

Noobz347

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#31
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #31
Ronin38 said:
I'll take two chickens...
**NSFW** No, Really, this is NSFW**
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWmGrR9a818
Click to expand...


{If} the rumors are true, that scene was a bit of a play on LeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNKINS!
 

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#32
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #32
These are also valid explanations.
 

Noobz347

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#33
  • Feb 18, 2019
  • #33
So then...


We have established that the chicken has indeed crossed the road.

Therefore, chickens crossing roads is not funny. Chickens do this regularly.

Which is why the toilet paper getting wrapped around the chicken is the joke.


Now do you see?
 

Jinx

I like cats, cats like me. Cats and I fully agree.
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Mar 18, 2019
#34
  • Mar 18, 2019
  • #34
How many Dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?


and 5... 6... 7... 8.
 

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#35
  • Mar 18, 2019
  • #35
Jinx said:
How many Dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?


and 5... 6... 7... 8.
Click to expand...
 
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Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#36
  • Mar 18, 2019
  • #36
What would George Washington do if he were alive today?



Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin...........
 
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Ronin38

Blow all the things!
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#37
  • Mar 18, 2019
  • #37
Did you ever watch the TV show "Sleepy Hollow?" It was pretty interesting for the first 3 seasons, with lots of historical references and frequent guest appearances by George Washington, Ben Franklin and others.
 

General karthief

wonder how much it would cost to ship you a pair
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Mar 19, 2019
#38
  • Mar 19, 2019
  • #38
 

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
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#39
  • Mar 24, 2019
  • #39
What do you call someone that refuses to fart in public?


A private tutor.
 
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Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...
SN Certified Technician
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Mar 25, 2019
#40
  • Mar 25, 2019
  • #40
I’m not saying body men are stupid, but one of the guys here at work bought an am radio and it took him a month to figure out he could listen to it in the afternoon......
 
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