Both of my vehicles are equipped with two forms of Income Depletion Sensors - one mechanical, the other electronic. You see, when one sensor detects a certain weight of money within my wallet ... say, anything more than $20 ... then it causes a new strange, unfamiliar noise to occur at a random location in the vehicle, often accompanied by some manner of driveability problems. The resultant purchasing of parts and supplies results in proper depletion of funds and time.
The other Income Depletion Sensor (IDS) is electronic in that it remotely monitors the amount of available funds in my checking and credit card accounts. When the available funds are too high or the outstanding debt is too low, it compensates by adding to the ever-growing list of things that need to be repaired, replaced, or otherwise upgraded to make the car less of a heap, thereby depleting said funds and/or inflating the debt.
What these sensors do fail to detect, however, are the monthly bills that I pick up and lay upon the passenger seat when I go by the mailbox, or the groceries in the trunk that I just purchased, or the girlfriend that sometimes sits in the same seat as the bills. On second thought, perhaps it does detect the girlfriend, as it does tend to make an odd noise or do something annoying in order to cause her to say something to the effect of, "I just don't know why you keep spending money on this stupid car." And so, thereafter, I spend money on something to please her, instead; this sensor, I believe, is known as a Spousal Appeasement Monitor (SAM).
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