Moved.
Okay so now that it's a tech thread I can get into the thick of the business!
Here goes: THE PITCH

Strap in, ima talk alot
So as stated this is kind of time-sensitive, but I understand that if I have to take my time, I'll take my time.
My experience working on cars is fairly limited, but I think (I think?) I have pretty good theoretical knowledge.
Do feel free to be very explicative and exhaustive anyways!
Car has sat for 30 years indoors (apparently), was last on the roads in 92, and spent the last couple of month outside before I could pick it up.
I believe that it's true because the body seems pretty healthy, no major rust except surface corrosion from what was probably humidity, especially under the hood (pics below).
From what I've been told the car just stopped being driven, but I guess you can never be sure about what people say. Thus my carefulness with the engine.
Talking of engine... Under its hood thrones the unadmirable 2.8 Cologne V6, rated at an announced 110-ish horsepower, which this one surely won't be capable of... if it ever does fire up.

Transmission is an automatic, from what I've read it should be a c4 or a c3 but I'm not sure how to check that.
Good news is the engine turns pretty well by hand and seems fairly complete.
The bad news is I know nothing about cologne v6s so my previous statements might be completely wrong.

Also the brakes, though apparently complete, do absolutely nothing. Same for the handbrake.
I have no idea how the electronics dealt with the humidity, also one of the previous owners clearly did something with the wiring because the radio area is hacked and there are JVC speakers under the dash...
What I've done for now is that I've looked around in the engine trying to find clearly missing/broken parts.
This is what I've found:
- What I've identified as a missing PCV valve, some dirt might have gotten through the hole into the valve covers. I'll probably have to take it off to clean it properly inside:
- A completely corroded -and flattened in an area- pipe at the back of the engine that seems to connect both exhaust manifolds and lead them through a T-junction to a... thing? (solenoid, filter...?) which is disconnected, so I have no idea where it goes.

I'm hoping it's a recirculation/smog thing so it wouldn't be too much of an issue for now:
- Carburator flap doesn't move when moving the accelerator, so maybe missing pieces? It looks pretty corroded so it could be stuck in some way?
- And for extra puzzle: random lines that were disconnected here and there and I'm not sure where they go, though they're probably linked to the carb, like as pressure lines for the starter or choking systems.
So I've went ahead and bought some parts (rockauto), mostly filters and fuel stuff to replace what was most likely destroyed from years of stale fuel rotting everywhere (I understand that this is generally what happens with old cars).
Plan is to change the fluids and oil filter, unplug the fuel line and crank it empty. Just to see if there are any bad noises.
Is there something else I can do before that? I've heard people talk about pouring a tiny bit of oil in the cylinders.
From there on I don't really expect the carburator to have any will to
live function properly so I plan on rebuilding it (got a rebuild kit).
With that done I'll try firing it up.
I'll attach some extra pictures of the engine if you guys can make out anything from them. They're not great but I'm sure someone will notice something.
Obviously feel free to ask for extra details
Oh also the chassis number ("Fahrgestell nr.") was covered with tape for some reason?

And I don't have the trunk key so that's closed until I change the lock cylinder...