Joke 1
> >>
> >> A father watched his young daughter playing in
> the garden.
> >>
> >> He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure
> his little girl was.
> >>
> >> He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature
> through such
> >> innocent eyes.
> >>
> >> Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the
> ground.
> >>
> >> He went over to her to see what work of God had
> captured her
> >> attention.
> >>
> >> He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
> "Daddy, what are
> >> those two spiders doing?" she asked.
> >>
> >> "They're mating," her father replied. "What do
> you call the spider
> >> on top?" she asked.
> >>
> >> "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
> "So, the other one
> >> is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
> >>
> >> As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute
> and innocent
> >> question, he replied "No dear.
> >>
> >> Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
> >>
> >> The little girl, looking a little puzzled,
> thought for a moment,
> >> then took her foot and stomped them flat and
> said,
> >>
> >> "Well, we're not having any of that
> Brokeback-Mountain **** in our
> >> garden."
JOKE 2
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."
> >>
> >> A father watched his young daughter playing in
> the garden.
> >>
> >> He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure
> his little girl was.
> >>
> >> He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature
> through such
> >> innocent eyes.
> >>
> >> Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the
> ground.
> >>
> >> He went over to her to see what work of God had
> captured her
> >> attention.
> >>
> >> He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
> "Daddy, what are
> >> those two spiders doing?" she asked.
> >>
> >> "They're mating," her father replied. "What do
> you call the spider
> >> on top?" she asked.
> >>
> >> "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
> "So, the other one
> >> is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
> >>
> >> As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute
> and innocent
> >> question, he replied "No dear.
> >>
> >> Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
> >>
> >> The little girl, looking a little puzzled,
> thought for a moment,
> >> then took her foot and stomped them flat and
> said,
> >>
> >> "Well, we're not having any of that
> Brokeback-Mountain **** in our
> >> garden."
JOKE 2
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and
sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family
pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he
thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."