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Joke of the day

  • Thread starter Thread starter TweekedGT
  • Start date Start date Jan 21, 2008
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TweekedGT

New Member
Jul 22, 2004
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Alberta
Jan 21, 2008
#1
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #1
You gotta love the Irish!

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them. They could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!'

Murphy replied, 'Don't worry - just follow me.'

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!'

Murphy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!'

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, 'OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.'

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said 'Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin'me!'

Murphy said, 'How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub.
 

cenok is family

15 Year Member
Jun 25, 2003
1,409
69
79
Norman, Ok
Jan 21, 2008
#2
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #2
hahaha
 

grey5.0beast

Cookies should never be DUNKED!!!
Aug 3, 2004
0
1
0
atl ga
Jan 21, 2008
#3
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #3
lmao
 

87foxstang

Member
May 10, 2007
0
0
16
Cromwell, CT
Jan 21, 2008
#4
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #4
I dont get one thing...how were they getting free drinks? were people paying them to see the guy suck on a sausage
 

5.0Droptop

...all those nights we shared, and you're a dude??
Special Agent Mukity-Muck Whats in Charge Round Here
May 15, 2002
1,785
1,130
233
Indiana
Jan 21, 2008
#5
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #5
87foxstang said:
I dont get one thing...how were they getting free drinks? were people paying them to see the guy suck on a sausage
Click to expand...

It ceases to be funny if one has to explain it.
But heres the Cliff notes.

* 1 goes to bar order drinks
2 they drink the drinks
3 next they pretend to get/give a blow job in bar,the bartender throws them out so they got drinks free,
4 go to next bar and do it all over again,

hence getting drunk for free cause they are thrown out everytime before they pay for said drinks.


 

TweekedGT

New Member
Jul 22, 2004
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Alberta
Jan 21, 2008
#6
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #6
87foxstang said:
I dont get one thing...how were they getting free drinks? were people paying them to see the guy suck on a sausage
Click to expand...

 

5.0Droptop

...all those nights we shared, and you're a dude??
Special Agent Mukity-Muck Whats in Charge Round Here
May 15, 2002
1,785
1,130
233
Indiana
Jan 21, 2008
#7
  • Jan 21, 2008
  • #7
TweekedGT said:
Click to expand...



 

foxmustangman

Member
Jun 20, 2007
196
1
16
Idaho
Jan 22, 2008
#8
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #8
That was awesome!
 

Turkey Sammich

I can't fap normal. I cracked a rib, then my ankle
Jul 12, 2006
0
59
154
Jan 22, 2008
#9
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #9
Far to many ghey threads around here.
 
R

RS200

Member
Sep 23, 2004
95
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16
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Jan 22, 2008
#10
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #10
Whale oil beef hooked.
 

87foxstang

Member
May 10, 2007
0
0
16
Cromwell, CT
Jan 22, 2008
#11
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #11
ohh wow i feel like an idiot

I dont know what i was thinking
 

PUNISHER RACING

Active Member
Aug 27, 2007
1,124
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36
FORD CITY, PA.
Jan 22, 2008
#12
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #12
ok next joke it says one a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

TweekedGT

New Member
Jul 22, 2004
1,274
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Jan 22, 2008
#13
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #13
Ok here's todays:

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas
and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha!
I'm ahead 14 to 7 !"
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie
score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field
goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and
accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the heck was that?"
The old man says, "Half time, switch sides"
 
9

91foxbod50

Member
Sep 26, 2007
486
0
16
Jan 22, 2008
#14
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #14
lmao that was awesome
 

87foxstang

Member
May 10, 2007
0
0
16
Cromwell, CT
Jan 22, 2008
#15
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #15
now THAT one I get
 

foxmustangman

Member
Jun 20, 2007
196
1
16
Idaho
Jan 22, 2008
#16
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #16
OMG
 

FrankenStang

Now, give me a damn CT!
15 Year Member
Apr 16, 2005
4,461
70
129
Florence, Az
Jan 22, 2008
#17
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #17
I have one.

Why's the monkey fall out of the tree?
 

87foxstang

Member
May 10, 2007
0
0
16
Cromwell, CT
Jan 22, 2008
#18
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #18
to get to the ground
 

5.0Droptop

...all those nights we shared, and you're a dude??
Special Agent Mukity-Muck Whats in Charge Round Here
May 15, 2002
1,785
1,130
233
Indiana
Jan 22, 2008
#19
  • Jan 22, 2008
  • #19
87foxstang said:
now THAT one I get
Click to expand...

Thats funnier than the joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

HISSIN50

"How long does it take to get help in here?
15 Year Member
Nov 29, 1999
31,179
34
129
Jan 23, 2008
#20
  • Jan 23, 2008
  • #20
Good stuff.
 
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