ricer jokes

redsn95

Member

Apr 24, 2005

38

1

6

Albany, GA

May 17, 2005

#1

• May 17, 2005

• #1

let's hear your best ricer jokes..

You might be a ricer if you go to the local speed shop to have stickers installed (actually seen this firsthand).

 

kristopher

New Member

Apr 18, 2005

8

0

0

Mesa, Arizona

May 17, 2005

#2

• May 17, 2005

• #2

You might be a ricer if you count stickers as a mod done to your car. And tally them up as 5hp a piece.

 

9

90GreyNotch

New Member

Feb 10, 2004

6

0

0

Massachusettes

May 17, 2005

#3

• May 17, 2005

• #3

My lug nuts require more torque to tighten them, than your import puts out.

 

redsn95

Member

Apr 24, 2005

38

1

6

Albany, GA

May 17, 2005

#4

• May 17, 2005

• #4

you might be a ricer if you hang out in the performance section at autozone

 

89 blue lx

Founding Member

Nov 18, 2001

1,936

0

37

FSU in tallahassee GO SEMINOLES!

May 17, 2005

#5

• May 17, 2005

• #5

redsn95 said:

you might be a ricer if you hang out in the performance section at autozone

Click to expand...

PARTS PARTS GIVE ME PARTS PARTS

 

sawbones25

Founding Member

May 29, 2001

1,318

1

38

Virginia

May 17, 2005

#6

• May 17, 2005

• #6

The Ricers are the joke...

 

Nik_95Cobra

Founding Member

Feb 5, 2002

1,677

1

37

Tempe, Arizona

May 17, 2005

#7

• May 17, 2005

• #7

Two queers walk into a bar, one asks the other "Hey what do you drive?" The other one answeres "A Honda" The other guy said "oh me too." Ok ok bad joke I know...was just off the top of my head

 

redsn95

Member

Apr 24, 2005

38

1

6

Albany, GA

May 17, 2005

#8

• May 17, 2005

• #8

you might be a ricer if your car says Greedy, HKS, or NOS, when its really just a stock, slow civic that grandma gave to you

 

94-302-vert

Active Member

Aug 16, 2004

1,947

2

36

NE CT

May 17, 2005

#9

• May 17, 2005

• #9

Don't forget the "Si" and "vtech" badges on cars that don't got em...

Chris

 

redsn95

Member

Apr 24, 2005

38

1

6

Albany, GA

May 17, 2005

#10

• May 17, 2005

• #10

seen this on another site one time.....

Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight,
I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
To beat this darn mustang, even with its big blower,
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The mustang erupts in clouds of tire smoke,
Now Smasher, now Revver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,
Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that V8 gets traction,
Grabbing second, I hear the RPM's sing,
My mirror is blocked by my shopping kart wing,
I now hear the roar of the big monster gaining,
All I can do is keep the four-banger straining,
In a second, the shock wave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying now a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool, like you can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver back off just to give me a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in a fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing,"
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow…it will be a better night.

 

muckstang

New Member

Mar 31, 2005

21

0

0

Minneapolis, MN

May 17, 2005

#11

• May 17, 2005

• #11

You might be a ricer if...
- After the Prom you watch Fast and Furious
- All of your four letter words you know are in asian
writing on a hood banner
- More than half of your car is primer and fiberglass.
- Adults won't get in the car with you.
- You drive all the backstreets just to avoid speedbumps
- Drag strips tech officials laugh when you try to
enter.
- People hear your fart pipe a long time before they see
it.
- Vehicle safety warnings are issued by the local
authorities when you drive into town.
- Your alternator burns out because of all the add ons
- The brake pedal on your car are are aluminum
- The only thing in your toolbox are zipties for the
neon underbody lights
- Your taillight covers are alteezas.
- There are more than five pep boys receipts for
stickers currently on the floorboard of your car
- Your wing is higher in inches than your IQ
- You can hardly wait to graduate from a remedial school
- You drive an Acura Integra, any year
- Your dash is painted yellow and your gauge are indiglo
- Your car is front wheel drive but you have a back wing
- You have wheels that are worth more than the vehicle
- You have a Honda product and you think its fast
- Your car has Konig Tantrums
- Your airdam is bigger than your house
- You base your performance specs on X box games
- You learn your performance tuning from Gran Turisimo
- You associate anything American with "REDNECKS"

 

Q

qwick94GT

New Member

Nov 20, 2004

108

0

0

May 17, 2005

#12

• May 17, 2005

• #12

You base your performance specs on X box games

Click to expand...

 

kristopher

New Member

Apr 18, 2005

8

0

0

Mesa, Arizona

May 17, 2005

#13

• May 17, 2005

• #13

redsn95 said:

you might be a ricer if you hang out in the performance section at autozone

Click to expand...

 

stprorolla49

Active Member

Oct 9, 2004

1,455

15

39

Fairfield, CT/North Jersey

May 17, 2005

#14

• May 17, 2005

• #14

these are all great guys........heres one.........
Fast Hondas are like the lockness monster. Sure we've all heard of em, but nobody has ACTUALLY seen one.

 

redsn95

Member

Apr 24, 2005

38

1

6

Albany, GA

May 17, 2005

#15

• May 17, 2005

• #15

these are all great guys........heres one.........
Fast Hondas are like the lockness monster. Sure we've all heard of em, but nobody has ACTUALLY seen one.

Click to expand...

 

donjohn

New Member

Feb 7, 2004

1,757

0

0

Irvine - Southern California

May 17, 2005

#16

• May 17, 2005

• #16

haha, good stuff

 

AZ95GT

New Member

Dec 27, 2003

326

0

0

Arizona

May 17, 2005

#17

• May 17, 2005

• #17

Honduh's are fasssst! Especially with NAWSSSSS!!!!!! .......... HAHA what a joke.

 

RedStallion43

Member

Sep 10, 2004

61

0

6

Chi-Town

May 17, 2005

#18

• May 17, 2005

• #18

(To the song, Ice Ice Baby)
All right stop, accelarate and listen
Toyota is back with a brand new invention
Its a 4 cylinder car,u dont have to hold tightly
It never goes far, daily or nightly
Will it ever go fast? Yo - I don't know
Without turbo..this ****'s slow
No one would steal it, not even a vandal
It goes as slow as a steam engine powered by a candle.
CHORUS
Rice Rice burner......Rice Rice burner!
Rice Rice Burner.......Rice Rice burner

Too slow, Too slow...
If you have come to the racetrack you are too late,
Cause your riceburner will never beat the roaring V8's!!

 

Swarzkopf

Member

Sep 23, 2004

973

0

16

Pittsburgh

May 17, 2005

#19

• May 17, 2005

• #19

More on the "ricer if":

You claim your car runs 2 or more seconds faster than it actually does.

You've got every bolt-on part available for your car and are spraying a 75 shot and running 15.89.

You can say with a straight face that "When VTEC kicks in, it feels just like a turbo".

You believe that the GorillaChip you bought on Ebay gave you 30hp.

Your car has neon lights on it.

 

redsn95

Member

Apr 24, 2005

38

1

6

Albany, GA

May 17, 2005

#20

• May 17, 2005

• #20

you might be a ricer if you bought an electric supercharger off of ebay.