Don't feel too bad black98snake most of us have had some kind of "I hate this shifter" headache.
There a ways around these Ford ****ing problems. To relieve the hard shifting problem you described the first fix is to replace the trans fluid. If you've ever raced or driven the car hard you need to follow the same path that the race crews use. Change the trans to one of the best lubricants out there. On mine it was Royal Purple Max ATF. It meets or exceeds all Ford Mtr Co standards plus it took care of the "it won't go in the right gear" problem. When changing the fuid look at the color, if it has turned a brownish color that indicates the fluid is breaking down.
Step 2. Check you linkage and the tightness of the connecting rods, bolts and bushing. Cheap and easy!
Step 3 would be a new shifter. If you check around there are several very good aftermarket shifters. Steeda Tri-Axe, 5.0, Hurst short throw, B&M. Most cost less than $200. Lots of Mustang/Cobra owner's have installed them in under 1 1/2 hours and the difference is like night and day. Just make sure your getting the right one for your transmission as there are several differnent types available.
Good luck