Sorry its been so long -update-

freakintiger · Aug 1, 2004

MyCARneedsHelp said:
Its so hard to sleep and i think bout her every minute so i dont eat. Ive been (sorry but u guys need to know all to understand) barfing at least 6 times a day and cant keep water in. I cry when i wake up and before i sleep.

Flat(leave the top off to let the carbonation out) Coca-Cola or Pepsi will settle your stomach(I believe it is the cola syrup that settles your stomach), my Mom always practiced this, and it works for me. Try to get caffeine free, so you don't further dehydrate yourself(caffeine is a diuretic, which means it makes you piss). Try to get down some Gatorade to rehydrate yourself, being dehydrated in the summer heat is dangerous and it opens up your body to infection.
Also if you don't feel like eating at all, try to eat something you like, even if it has no nutritional value at all. Better to eat something than nothing at all. I know I've been/am there.
I will be praying for you, the same thing happened to me in October '97, I got saved and gave my heart to Jesus. Only he has been able to carry me through my sorrow, which has been nearly unbearable. Seek for him, he loves you and will never leave you.

"No, I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm-I will come to you."
-the words of Jesus as recorded in John 14:18

r281 · Aug 1, 2004

MyCARneedsHelp said:
Well its been another long day at work. She hasnet called or anything i tryed called her twice and no answer so i left a msg. " hey meg-pie this is andy just seeing how your doing, talk to ya lata. bye" My buddy said he seen her at the bank and the guy was all kissing on her and bla bla bla. I figured she had found someone better. I dont know what i did wrong and im so confused and lost. Its so hard to sleep and i think bout her every minute so i dont eat. Ive been (sorry but u guys need to know all to understand) barfing at least 6 times a day and cant keep water in. I cry when i wake up and before i sleep. I understand that its gunna take me a while but why so long and why did i deserve this. I did everytrhing for her. She said i tried to late and that she still loves me. I dont get it. She never used to act like this at all. this came from nowhere

Don't hurt yourself by calling her. She will call you if she wants to talk.
It helps to talk to someone about what is happening. You need support in a tough time like this. Find someone that will listen to you like your mom or someone that you can trust.
I know it's hard, but try to get your mind off of her. Take a trip with friends to a new place or buy things for your car.
Hang in there. Your going to look back on this and laugh in the future. Time will heal your heart.
I've seen my brother go through the same thing. He was with her for six years. He had purchased a new escape for her and she cheated on him. He tried his best to keep what they had together. She got with the other guy and I guess she became a different person with different views.
He was able to cope with it. He goes out with his friends and girls all the time.

mr_woodster · Aug 2, 2004

Freakintiger....you remind me of me almost every post! lol...its ironicly funny.

Andy, anytime you wanna chat shoot me a pm or im via aol or msm. (aim: infamouswoodster - msm - infamouswoodster@hotmail.com)
Helps to have someone to talk too...i know it sucks, boy have i been there, but some encouragment, hope remains no matter what!

You can be the perfect guy and still not the guys she wants...thats a hard one to grasp, but once you figure that the problem (99%) doesnt rest on your action/inaction ...the sooner you will comprehend the bigger picture here. Emotions are great sometimes, but usually just a dramatic pain. I can give you a hundred reasons why you shouldnt come near that girl with a 10ft pole right now....stay away and do like suggested, other things...anything...i started jogging/running when i had relationship troubles, now i jog 12 miles straight...find something to take your mind off of her! if you sit around and dwell on her or the past...its like acid eating away at you, you gotta get out.

freakintiger · Aug 2, 2004

mr_woodster said:
Freakintiger....you remind me of me almost every post! lol...its ironicly funny.

You can be the perfect guy and still not the guys she wants...thats a hard one to grasp, but once you figure that the problem (99%) doesnt rest on your action/inaction ...the sooner you will comprehend the bigger picture here. Emotions are great sometimes, but usually just a dramatic pain. I can give you a hundred reasons why you shouldnt come near that girl with a 10ft pole right now....stay away and do like suggested, other things...anything...i started jogging/running when i had relationship troubles, now i jog 12 miles straight...find something to take your mind off of her! if you sit around and dwell on her or the past...its like acid eating away at you, you gotta get out.

mr_woodster, you must have had a similiar expierience to mine...

I guess(from the context) Andy is your name MyCARneedshelp; listen to woodsters advice, pain and later bitterness will eat you alive-you will become a shadow of your former self!

MyCARneedsHelp · Aug 2, 2004

I cant thank you all enough for all this help. I check this thread everyday and night . I know i should stay away from her but she called me cuz she wants her things so i have to see her now. I went to a neigbors house who belives high in god and jesus and she talked to me for hours and didnt care. Its felt great , we prayed,talked,and i cryed through it all but felt kinda good. I dont know what to say or do though. Its hard to just blow somone you love off like they dont mean anything but im dieing inside without her and i need her. Maybe its cuz its still soon but i feel desprate and i know i shouldnt . I know life and love goes on but there is just sumtin about her and how we were together that ill never forget...

freakintiger · Aug 2, 2004

MyCARneedsHelp said:
I know i should stay away from her but she called me cuz she wants her things so i have to see her now.

I remember in my own situation when she came to get her things, she tried to leave me the bubblebath and something else I can't recall. I remember looking at her with what must have been an expression of deep betrayal and asking her why I would want to keep those things when all they would do would be to remind me of her and she was leaving me. She did'nt know how to react to that it was if she thought that I was okay with it or something; like she was'nt on the same level or plane of reality with me. It was really surreal.

MyCARneedsHelp said:
I went to a neigbors house who belives high in god and jesus and she talked to me for hours and didnt care. Its felt great , we prayed,talked,and i cryed through it all but felt kinda good.

This encourages me that you have a Christian friend to talk too. Like I said previously, only Jesus has been able to walk me through this hell, like the scriptures say, he is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Do what I've done, don't take it day by day, just take it moment by moment: it will change you, it may even age you-but you will get through and past this. Trust in Jesus.

r281 · Aug 2, 2004

MyCARneedsHelp said:
I cant thank you all enough for all this help. I check this thread everyday and night . I know i should stay away from her but she called me cuz she wants her things so i have to see her now. I went to a neigbors house who belives high in god and jesus and she talked to me for hours and didnt care. Its felt great , we prayed,talked,and i cryed through it all but felt kinda good. I dont know what to say or do though. Its hard to just blow somone you love off like they dont mean anything but im dieing inside without her and i need her. Maybe its cuz its still soon but i feel desprate and i know i shouldnt . I know life and love goes on but there is just sumtin about her and how we were together that ill never forget...

I know that right now you are willing to do anything to see her. You will make a lot of excuses for yourself. I understand it hurts a great deal, but try not to see her again. You will only be reminded of why you miss her. It will only prolong your suffering. Leave her things at your neighbors house and tell her to pick them up there.

Again, hang in there and keep talking to people that care.
You will find someone else that will care about you even more and not leave you like she did.

Pro-Hawk · Aug 2, 2004

r281 said:
You will find someone else that will care about you even more and not leave you like she did.

Its funny how things works out for us and what plan God has for us. I can't count how many times I wished to God some girl wouldn't leave me. The last time my heart was broken I had given up on girls and devoted my life to cars Then one day I met my now wife in the parking garage I worked at during that time. It turned out neither one of us wanted anyone in our lives at that time. She had just gotten a devorce after 7 years of marrige while I just got out of a semi long bad relationship. Almost 5 years later we're married with a 2.6 year old awsome boy Just hang in there and everything will work out.

mr_woodster · Aug 3, 2004

R281, after reading through your post, i must say most are right on, but they seem "dry". Its wierd, almost like you are reading it out of a book...cant put my finger on it as to why they come accross as "dry eyes ,clear eyes" advice. Are you a therapist ?

MyCARneedsHelp · Aug 3, 2004

well i totally messed up. She came over and i let her in and we talked and she gave me a hug and a kiss. I know i know, i shouldnt of kissed her. But i dont know wha i was thinking. Then we sat down and started to watch a movie a lil bit and we cuddled a little and layed next to each other. I was a lil confused bout the feelings being thrown around so i asked her for a kiss cuz i missed her. She gave me 1, and then 2 and 3. Then she said thats enough and i didnt realize what i was doing until she said that, i kinda was pushin love on her again... so i told her maybe she should leave and she said "fine" kinda mad. And i said " well it seems like your mad" she said " im not, this is one of the reason i broke up with you cuz you always assume stuff" and i just said sorry, i didnt mean to. You just looked mad. So we layed back down for a bit and watched bout 5-10 min more of the movie and shes like" i should go" and i said ok. On the way out i walked her to her car and she gave me a hug and i hugged her to. And i was like "hug me as much as u missed me " and she squeezed me hard and i returned a hug. And i said i love you, and she said it back. Then i was like so is a kiss out of the question and shes like, no. And i said well if you want one come get it (giggle giggle ) and she did..... now im a lilttle confused!..... so any way, After that she got in the car and i said goodnight and she was about to poll off but me, The super dumb*** stopped her and made up some bull crap like, yea i need some numbers off your phone. so she gave them to me and we blabbed for another second. then i said even though we arent going out i want to be there for you as a friend,someone to talk to when your hurt, or upset. And she said i know, we prolly wont go backout but i cant tell the future, i still love you. and then i was like ok well i love u to and she said it back. Then drove off

Now i know i messed up big time. she talked about how shes been spending a lot of time with this "other" guy and i was just fighting to get her back and i shouldnt have... im so dumb. im just so scared im going to lose her and i dont want that and i know that its not my choice but i can only imagine what they do together and its eating me on the inside. she said she was going to call me today but i dont know if i should answer or answer and say sorry bout yesterday......

Pro-Hawk · Aug 3, 2004

MyCARneedsHelp said:
she said she was going to call me today but i dont know if i should answer or answer and say sorry bout yesterday......

Tell her "you can't have your cake and eat it too" "Its him or me" and try not to sound like you are not going nuts without her again. Don't ask me about the rest of the events that has taken place, its a little weird to me

mr_woodster · Aug 3, 2004

round one is hers...she is using you. And to some extent you are using her, becuase you know she is NOT right for you, atleast not for now. I know its hard, but your not doing yourself any favors...your just prolonging the hurtful process! Muster up your will power, be nice...but dont give in. Move on and dont dwell on her, you can do it!

r281 · Aug 3, 2004

mr_woodster said:
R281, after reading through your post, i must say most are right on, but they seem "dry". Its wierd, almost like you are reading it out of a book...cant put my finger on it as to why they come accross as "dry eyes ,clear eyes" advice. Are you a therapist ?

I guess I'm used to giving out the same advice time after time to my friends. I have seen similar situations too many times like the one with my brother. I guess I'm also influenced to a small degree by some of those counseling/psychology classes I've sat through.

Now back to our poor heart broken soul:

I have to agree with the other posts, she is using you. I'm sorry for saying this, but she may want both of you. She really wants the other guy and she wants to keep you around "just in case" things don't go as planned with her other love. Your a safety net to her.

Don't beat yourself up for what you did. Your only human and your bound to give in. It's natural. Just try to use it as a learning experience.

I know this may not be the best advice. Try to think about the bad things she is doing. Hopefully, you will find some "evil" in her and it will be easier to forget about her.

Unfortunately, now she knows she can leave you for some other guy and come back to you whenever she wants. If you continue to tell her you love her unconditionally, she will realize she can leave and come back to you while your waiting there with open arms.

MyCARneedsHelp · Aug 4, 2004

well i got a call yesterday and it was her. And we talked and she was fine she wansnt mad about yesterday or anything... We talked as friends and i kept my kool and i asked her if she wasnt doing anything to stop by and we could chill. She said she wanted to see if anything was going on and if not she would come by but i will call u right back after i shower..... so i go out and chill with some friends and i worry bout if shes gunna come. It hits 11pm after it seems like 3 days and she didnt call, didnt comeover.... . I left her a text msg before i went to sleep saying " Even though im pissed cause you didnt call me back i hope your ok" cause we had a bid storm. I wake up in the morning today and she texted me back "Im sorry that your mad,you can call me before i start work at 9:30" so i called her back bout 8 cuz i wasnt sure how early to call she just said before 9:30... So we talked and i asked "how come u didnt call me back" she said "you know the phone works both ways" and im thinking to myself ..didnt u want me to give u space??? and then i let her go cuz she was tired and she told me to call back at 9. I didnt say i love you, i just said bye.

mr_woodster · Aug 4, 2004

Well, sounds good...atleast the end does !

MyCARneedsHelp · Aug 4, 2004

well even though i cryed my heart out i ended it... I told her eather she loves me and wants to be with me or this is the last time we see eachother cuz its to hard. She didnt want to stop seeing me but its better this way in the long run. She also admitted to "seeing" this guy thier not "dating" lol whatever pyscho thanx for ruining my life, lol. Thanx for the support any comments are great

Pro-Hawk · Aug 5, 2004

MyCARneedsHelp said:
thanx for ruining my life,

I can't wait to requote this when you find someone way better than your last girl

mr_woodster · Aug 5, 2004

Pro-Hawk said:
I can't wait to requote this when you find someone way better than your last girl

Amen. Ya..it seems like a waste, but take your losses, count it a lesson and in the end, your gonna end up with a girl that accutly has feeling, a heart that is not made of polar ice, and thinks (of others) before she goes out and pulls reject move. The only thing worse than a girl leaving you, is getting stuck with one who doesnt really love you.

MyCARneedsHelp · Aug 5, 2004

Well i didnt get much sleep went at 3am and woke at7am... i guess thats enough sleep. I noticed little things when i went to her house. I was off her phone as "my baby", Pics in her car were down,everything i gave her was packed away, all pics of us at homecoming werent up at all in her house. Her mom loved them to... There is just so many memories we had. I dont get how someone can love you for 3 years and have so much love for eachother and then overnight its allllllll gone.... ... prolly cuz she thinks this guy is da **** . Man does it hurt but woodster your right....

freakintiger · Aug 5, 2004

Good for you dude, you showed her she is not in control of you: YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOU.

The next female your get is gonna be in for a totally different expierience, cause your gonnna know their sick little control game-and your gonna have it beat from the git-go with her. She's either gonna be a WOMAN and respect you as a thinking, feeling MAN, or a GIRL who's gonna be in for a big shock when you tell her you don't need her DISRESPECTFUL GAMES and she can just leave.

I'm so happy for you, 'cause I know now your gonna be just fine.

Sorry its been so long -update-

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