tech/mental help needed: i believe i just cant continue with this any longer

ok i will do this, but i just wanted to ask if this could negatively affect the situation? or is this the only way to be sure that things will line up properly?

i think i'm going to take it down to the shortblock and start over again with heads and intake just to make sure i have things 100% right this time. i just don't feel to good about the torque on the heads.
 
If your tq was not right on the heads you would get coolant in the oil and/or performance issues. It sounds like you need to just simply get the correct gaskets and use the correct sealants and RTV. You may even have a lower intake issue.