The StangNet Joke Thread

F

FinnPreston

New Member

Mar 1, 2018

14

2

1

Tampa, Florida

Apr 4, 2018

#1

• Apr 4, 2018

• #1

Hey, fellas! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..

...just five more minutes.

 

F

FinnPreston

New Member

Mar 1, 2018

14

2

1

Tampa, Florida

Apr 4, 2018

#2

• Apr 4, 2018

• #2

So this bear walks into a bar.

The bear says, "I'll have……………………………………………………………………………………………………… a beer."

Bartender says, "Hey bear, why the big pause?"

 

F

FinnPreston

New Member

Mar 1, 2018

14

2

1

Tampa, Florida

Apr 4, 2018

#3

• Apr 4, 2018

• #3

My friends made fun of me because they found out that my girlfriend is imaginary..

Jokes on them, they're imaginary too.

 

Reactions: Davedacarpainter and Jinx

Ronin38

Blow all the things!

15 Year Member

Dec 18, 2010

7,238

4,397

224

Dayton, OH

Apr 4, 2018

#4

• Apr 4, 2018

• #4

Why do clowns get in so many fights?
Because they look at people funny.

 

rbohm

Founding Member

Apr 12, 2002

6,698

550

204

tucson,az

Apr 4, 2018

#5

• Apr 4, 2018

• #5

a sodium atom walks into a bar, goes over to a chloride atom and they get into a fight. both are arrested for assault.

two men walk into a bar, the third man ducked.

an atom was talking to the bar tender, and the bar tender asked him what was wrong, the atom said i think i lost an electron, the bartender asked are you sure? the atom said yes i am positive.

 

IIGood

Founding Member

Aug 1, 1998

4,252

1,214

224

Churchton, MD

Apr 4, 2018

#6

• Apr 4, 2018

• #6

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin exclaims to the other, "Man it's hot in here!" The second muffin looks at the first and says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!!"

 

D

donaldFom

New Member

Mar 30, 2018

1

0

1

Apr 11, 2018

#7

• Apr 11, 2018

• #7

Three conspiracy theorist walk into a bar. You can't tell me that's a coincidence.

 

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...

SN Certified Technician

Nov 28, 2015

11,833

11,634

203

Discordia

Apr 19, 2018

#8

• Apr 19, 2018

• #8

Where do you take a sick boat? The doc

 

Jinx

I like cats, cats like me. Cats and I fully agree.

20+ Year Stangneter

Oct 2, 2003

12,166

4,237

223

Cat Country

Apr 20, 2018

#9

• Apr 20, 2018

• #9

What's blue and smells like red paint?


Blue paint.

 

Noobz347

Stangnet Facilities Maint Tech... Er... Janitor

Admin Dude

Jan 4, 1985

43,421

21,628

234

Box behind Walmart

Apr 20, 2018

#10

• Apr 20, 2018

• #10

That's dumb. How can red paint smell like blue paint?

I hate this thread

 

Ronin38

Blow all the things!

15 Year Member

Dec 18, 2010

7,238

4,397

224

Dayton, OH

Apr 20, 2018

#11

• Apr 20, 2018

• #11

Well how am I supposed to eat my soup if I don't have an envelope?

 

Noobz347

Stangnet Facilities Maint Tech... Er... Janitor

Admin Dude

Jan 4, 1985

43,421

21,628

234

Box behind Walmart

Apr 20, 2018

#12

• Apr 20, 2018

• #12

Ronin38 said:

Well how am I supposed to eat my soup if I don't have an envelope?

Click to expand...

Simple. Put a cork on the end of your fork so you don't get poked with the tines.

 

Ronin38

Blow all the things!

15 Year Member

Dec 18, 2010

7,238

4,397

224

Dayton, OH

Apr 20, 2018

#13

• Apr 20, 2018

• #13

Noobz347 said:

Simple. Put a cork on the end of your fork so you don't get poked with the tines.

Click to expand...

Ain't nobody gonna fork my cork, mang!

 

rbohm

Founding Member

Apr 12, 2002

6,698

550

204

tucson,az

Apr 21, 2018

#14

• Apr 21, 2018

• #14

Prime Minister Cameron and President Obama are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman,

'Isn't that Cameron and Obama sitting over there?'

The bartender says,

'Yep, that's them.'

So the guy walks over and says,

'Wow, this is a real honor!

What are you guys doing in here?'

Cameron says,

'We're planning WW III.'

The guy says, 'Really?

What's going to happen?'

Obama says,

'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big ####.'

The guy exclaimed,

'A blonde with big ####?
Why kill a blonde with big ####?'

Cameron turns to Obama and says,
'See, I told you,
no one gives a #### about the 140 million Muslims.

 

Reactions: stormsedge and Davedacarpainter

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...

SN Certified Technician

Nov 28, 2015

11,833

11,634

203

Discordia

Sep 11, 2018

#15

• Sep 11, 2018

• #15

What does a dyslexic agnostic think about when he can't sleep?

If there really is a dog.

 

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...

SN Certified Technician

Nov 28, 2015

11,833

11,634

203

Discordia

Sep 11, 2018

#16

• Sep 11, 2018

• #16

A photon is going through TSA at the airport.

The agent asks him if he has any luggage.

The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light".

 

Reactions: Jinx

I Bleed Ford Blue

5 Year Member

Feb 13, 2017

416

122

73

North Olmsted OH

Oct 6, 2018

#17

• Oct 6, 2018

• #17

When I was a little boy my old man told me " son, when you grow up and get married you'll either get a looker or cooker" The wife over heard me telling that to someone, so she asked me what I got. I replied neither one. I didn't have to listen to her for three weeks.

 

Reactions: a91what and General karthief

Davedacarpainter

Chicks can make things hard if they’re inspired...

SN Certified Technician

Nov 28, 2015

11,833

11,634

203

Discordia

Jan 9, 2019

#18

• Jan 9, 2019

• #18

Did you hear about the guy that stole a calendar? I heard he got twelve months.....

 

Ronin38

Blow all the things!

15 Year Member

Dec 18, 2010

7,238

4,397

224

Dayton, OH

Jan 9, 2019

#19

• Jan 9, 2019

• #19

If you ever forget my name, just yell "donuts," I'll look.

 

Reactions: Davedacarpainter

Jinx

I like cats, cats like me. Cats and I fully agree.

20+ Year Stangneter

Oct 2, 2003

12,166

4,237

223

Cat Country

Jan 9, 2019

#20

• Jan 9, 2019

• #20

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2 - but I don't know how they got in there.

 

Reactions: Davedacarpainter