‘83 T-top Coupe - It’s Too Cold

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Don't sweat the kids, they will either come around or not. Sounds like they know the score already.
I'm rarely surprised at what goes on behind my back anymore, once you get to that point, things fall together.
 
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Ok, ok…..Nick is trying to shove me out of my hole i dug in the ground.

I‘m doing ok y’all.

I’ve kind of isolated myself in the past year or two. So don’t feel like I’m ignoring just you, I’ve been ignoring everyone, lol.

I‘ve found that the things and people I trusted and believed in for the past couple decades turned out to be a bit less trustworthy and believable than what I may have thought.

All of this came about one day when my daughter was visiting me. She started to cry and said, “Dad, I’m sorry I believed all the things mom told me about you”………..

I laughed a little when she said that and told her everything will be ok. Then I asked what her mom had told her. I won’t tell you the details, but trust me, I’m still trying to reach the knife imbedded in my back.

I asked her when her mom was telling her these things, she said when I was at work…..Back in the days when I was working 16 hour days to pay for the debt my ex would keep running up. Mind you, this was when my daughter was around five years old and continued through the years till we finally divorced.

Then a week later I had the boys over to have some ribeyes and beer (because I can, right?). I asked them gently if they knew about their mom and my daughter’s little “Your daddy is such a Dick” talks. They said sure, but they wanted me to know that they defended me and told her that the things weren’t true………they were being told the same disgusting things.

I was oblivious to these talks, I thought as my children became teenagers that it was natural that they were pulling away from me.

Bright side is that they all visit me and don’t seem to believe the bad things now, but the die was kind of cast since my ex started at such a young age with them. They grew up believing really horrible things about me, it established their emotions and way of thinking about their father. It’s more than a little difficult to change those well established thought processes once you become an adult.

So regardless of what I do with them now, everything is run through that filter.

The mother of my children basically stole my children from me. Why? I honestly can’t tell you. Back when she started these talks I thought I was in a happy marriage.

It makes things difficult for me to visit with my kids now. When I tell them something about life, or whatever, it’s being run through that filter. I feel like I have to explain things in excruciating detail so they can get what I really mean, then I worry that they get tired of talking to me because of the details I have to put in conversation now. It’s really fatiguing.

Then there’s all of my “friends” I had during that time. Guess how many wanted anything to do with me after the divorce? Now I understand why they didn’t reach out to me during my divorce. I’m sure they got to hear a few wonderful things about me as well.

So completes the destruction of Dave.

All that said, who cares? I’ll be fine, lol. Really though, I understand the emotional impact this is having on me. I also understand that I want to still live life and need to work through this.

So I’ve been isolating myself for the past couple years since these revelations came out. It’s easier not seeing disappointment in others eyes (for things I never did). I’m tired of explaining to try to get people to hear me. People don’t want to believe that another person can do such rotten things to their supposed loved one, and do it relentlessly over a couple decades. I wouldn’t have believed it had it not happened to me.

I would think at least surely Dave wasn’t an innocent in all of this, I would be wrong. Somehow I must have unintentionally tweaked the psycho inside my ex. I guess it was a trigger for her? Idk, I’m not even mad at her. I just want her away from me.

So I don’t trust pretty much anyone now. I know you guys weren’t part of all this, but paranoia makes for a really difficult time for all.

I haven’t given up on my car, its just been shoved to the side for awhile. Sanity first, Booger second.

I‘ll visit here again soon. Sorry for the lengthy explanation that has nothing to do with working on my car. Part of my explaining things in that excruciating detail, lol.
Hey Dave, I'm sorry to hear things have been rough lately. Keep your head up. You're a stand up guy to many of us here. Have always been helpful and positive. I hope you choose to come back around here more sooner than later.
 
Work hard
Save your money
Don't sweat the kids, they will either come around or not. Sounds like they know the score already.
I'm rarely surprised at what goes on behind my back anymore, once you get to that point, things fall together.
Not much you can do with kids I found out.. They will play both of you for what they can get out of you in a divorce or split up..
Who would you rather stay with? The mom who is never home so you can do what you want and tear the house down, or the dad who makes you behave and tries to make a good person out of you??...
As the General says, do your best, do NOT bad mouth their mother ( good bad or indifferent, she will always be mom to them) and let the chips fall where they will knowing you have done your best....
 
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Just remember if you ever need beer monies were here to help. oh and for emotional support stuff as well.

.............. I know we dont really talk about that kind of stuff, cuz were men. But we have feelings too dammit and it hurts when someone does underhanded :poo: while we are doing what we are programmed to do, we provide, we protect and I dont think we are appreciated enough for that.
 
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I had a very bad divorce with a despicable woman. She turned my kids and parents against me for a few years. They are just now figuring out the truth. My kids had very bad opinions about me and all those things are turning around now. My oldest talks to me all the time now. I don't down talk to them about the woman. They are at the ages where they are seeing it for themselves. It was total hell to go through. I alienated myself from my own family. Was so tired of people's slated advise and trying to explain myself.

Now, it's all getting better but it took years. Be careful of women who never admit when they are wrong. They'll never let anyone know they were the bad one. People tend to be prepared for a narcissistic man...but narcissistic women seem to run the show.

I'm glad you checked in. I was actually worried about you. I don't have many friends ( trust issues ) but I've met some really good folks here. Over the years we see windows into each other's lives. Our posts distract each other from the problems and issues in our personal lives. We laugh at each others comments and ponder over each other's project issues.

For me, Stangnet helps me get through life and have an outlet. When you guys like my posts and give input it really helps me out in more ways than one.

Here you can forget about your problems and kick it with your buddies. We appreciate your friendship here.
 
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