So I put a feeler ad out on Craigslist just to see what kind of offers I'd get on my car. Frankly, I was bored. I posted it as willing to trade for a muscle car of equal value, because as of right now I have way too much money into it to ever sell it. I AM NOT TRYING TO SELL MY CAR. I was only curious and testing the waters. This clown e-mailed me about trading for his "WORKED" 2000 Maxima SE. The way he described it was hilarious, and when I denied him he went on a hysterical rampage. Check it out...
His original e-mail:
my response:
his response:
my response:
his response (here's where he loses his mind):
and another one he sent 5 minutes after...
His original e-mail:
2000 WORKED Maxima SE 5 Speed - $5000 (Westchester)- OK, sometimes I don't answer calls regarding my car because people want to offer me dirt cheap money so I don't bother calling them back. Now, I have a 2000 Nissan Maxima SE 5 speed for sale or trade for a, Mustang years from 1984 to 1995, and older style Z28/Trans Am. Z28 and Trans Am must be vintage, meaning 70's Ish.. While I Prefer to sell, I will consider these specific trades. Mustangs MUST be V8, 5 SPEED In nice condition over-all, I say this because people claim to have Mint cars, and after me spending time to see them, sometimes driving 40 minutes one-way, they barley work, look beat, straight dogs, and are put together by different cars needing lots of work claiming and claim 12 sec 1/4, while my car Is like seriously New for a 2000 SE, and could smoke them.. Those cars are what I do not want so please don't offer unless you have at-least 350 HP and can prove It. Don't be offended, I'm just saving a waste of time on both ends. TA's and Z28, can be automatic, only V8, prefer the 350 ci, over the 305ci,. Both have to be vintage, """Now my car runs absolutely perfect, and I mean that In every aspect. Great on gas, black leather interior with no tears, In fact the Interior Is Immaculate. Automatic head lights, Automatic climate control with power heated seats that have several settings for better positioning, there are tags on the seats saying something In regards to side air bags, but don't hold me to that, you can always check your self. The Air conditioner smells fresh and Is crispy cold enough to make anyone sick with a cold.. Seriously!! I say that because often others will say the same thing, and the AC does the opposite. The trunk has a factory spoiler, Power sunroof, Comes with a factory "fob" and the key has a chip, so nobody will be stealing this car. Alloy (17") rims, Clean NY title, no liens, no Issues, Honestly, the car Is already known to be a fast 4 door Sport sedan, Its not closely comparable to a 5 series M, but I don't know of a more nimble light car other then the Maxima that Is built so well, with four doors and so spacious, because not even 4 Dr Bmw's are as reliable, even their M series break down over non-sense, Ive owned three so I know. Not hating on you guys, sorry Its only the truth. ""Now, although my car Is basically stock, I had some Pros tune my car. Nothing drastic, but It Is Very fast, I say that with a capital F.. And the reliability Is there forever, I mean Its a Nissan Maxima point blank. Whats next, G35, then Skyline.. By the way, my year Is the anniversary edition and shares the G35 suspension, look It up. The color Is very Nice, Its the Sierra Mist Silver, Not the Tan people confuse easily, It kinda looks pimped out from the factory because It has the factory lowered suspension, spoilers, even on the sun-roof, Its labeled Nissan so Its authentic. but the car still has a smooth ride. No tint, Nice Bose 200 watt factory system with a Sub. Its the up-graded option from the 100 watt option. Maintained well, passes Inspection with no Issues. Fog lamps work, sunroof with spoiler, black clean carpet and black leather dash, The cluster Is white face, at night It turns blue and like a silverish color. Great ABS brakes, There Isn't anything wrong at all. 132k, That's honest, lots of people change out their clusters and lie. This Is true millage. Some exhaust performance was done, along with a light weight pressure plate, short ram Intake, and although I have the Plastic upper Intake manifold which every 1999 and down want because of the 33 HP diff, I still put In Phenolic Thermal Intake Manifold Spacer Kit that's good for Gains of 10hp and 12ft-lb of torque. Also the average intake manifold temperature decreases about 40 degrees, I know I have the plastic, but I feel the diff. My computer was re-flashed for better fuel/air/spark. Timing 2X degrees, Rpm was re-learned since It was brought up 75 degrees. Header was bored of excess metal blocking exhaust. I changed my timing chain@ 100k, It ordered from Redline Motive, who makes only direct replacement parts, and since I was In the engine bay, I had the heads cleaned and re-surfaced a bit via better compression. The valves were redone since the heads were already out. Synthetic oil always. I know I'm forgetting lots of things, car also underwent a diet of close to 150 lb. Now, Nissan, from the floor comes stock @ 222 HP, and that's a six cylinder 3.0.. Most V8's make 225, or less, that's like a 3 HP diff and two less cylinders. Way better gas saver and RPM has a better band with serious response. It makes about 259 HP at the rubber. All I can say Is test drive It and judge for your self.. Two 2 Items need attention.. Small quarter size dent on drives side fender, scratch on hood. That's all. I want a new project., not In any rush to sell,!! Don't low ball me or offer crap because It wont happen. Any E-mails that say (Yo, whats good) will get deleted. This Maxima Is fabulous and It runs hard. Its a consistent 14.111@102 with good rubber, Car Is capable of better times, so Its not worth It at a cheaper price. If your serious, I will except small negotiation.. Put it this way, give me a reasonable price and its yours............. Thanks. I can privately send you proof of my 1/4 mile numbers. Just not listing on here.
my response:
Haha, I'm gonna pass man.
his response:
Whats so funny,,,, No mustang Ive seen lately running low 14's, and a seriou gas saver, you have no clue but real funny. Last year It went13:68@105 wit good rubber, judging from your response, no wayz, and my car Isn't almost 30 years old wit a played V8
my response:
Excuse me, sir, are you retarded? Which Mustangs are you looking at, exactly? There are tens of thousands of Mustangs running 10 second quarters and lower. With mild bolt-ons and suspension they run 12s all day... Do you live in a cave? Have fun racing your riced out maxima and trying to trade your $2000 POS for cars worth 10 grand. Make sure you play the Fast and Furious DVD on your headrest TVs at car shows and make your underbody neons flash every time the bass in your trunk "hits." Everyone thinks it's SICKK BROOOOO!!! Please don't e-mail me back...
his response (here's where he loses his mind):
Yo, who do **** do you think you are coming out your face like you ****ing know me......you mother ****er. I own a 90 LX 351W,DSW block blue-printed and balanced, 4 bolt main vortech charged , spec clutch, Tremec tko, 355 rear, custom cam,, full lent exhaust gt40 uprNlower board to **** with a custom ecu running burneth ny Joe, from Mustang Magic, aftermarket fuel rail, kill switch In the rear, Bf radials that dynoed at 612HP at Joes, and ran a 10:58@127, Im on his December car of the month 2008 you ****ing *******. I saw your **** car and thought Id offer my 14 second maxima that rocks many mustang like Ur ugly ****, and my Grand National, that will **** your **** up too. I live In south Yonkers NY, my zip 10705, come see me at (EDITED OUT ADDRESS), Its a blue House with a white fenced porch so you can find me exactely you little **** and lets see you talk **** like that to my face, cause Id ****ing kill you then stick your ****ing bird ass In a cave. Don't need your cheap ass **** box, but I'll tell you what... Please, I beg you come see me, bring who ever you want and we'll let **** go down you ****ing punk. You got this twisted so you best pray I don't come find you, you mother ****er, one ****ing hit and I;ll snap your jaw ****ing loser. You ****ing piece of ****, your all your cars worth, I own cars, 10 second cars and two homes, a casual maxima and a new tahoe. I could bench press your frail ass to the ****ing ER room. You done started some beef now, watch your ****ing back, keep talking that ship and we will see. I'M begging you to come and pay me a visit. I;ll even give you a crispy 100$ dollar bill just so that I can ****ing smash you, bitch ass, I'm waiting on you ****ing herb, bring It down, you gotz my address, bitch ass......
and another one he sent 5 minutes after...
I just remembered, I can call you about your **** car and pretend who I am, and Once I come see your car, we'll see what the ****s up. You best be showing your car with 10 of your boys cause I can pay you a visit when ever I want, element of surprise will drop your jaw, you got me so pist this **** Is not going anywhere soon. Watch you bitch ass, or carry a weapon when showing your car. I'm gonna love this, and what you said to me, you should regret because I DON'T GIVE A FLYING **** about anyone, Matt Serra could be your ****ing brother and I'll still knock the **** out of both of you. I ****ing lift almost 430lbs, and I don't juice, and my jaw, that's all steel. Come down little man, or better yet, maybe I'll inquire about your car and come by to view It. And I'm no ****ing DUMB-ass, you ****ing with a family man, you want to take this **** to police, go right on, I have your stupid ass respond to me and SAVING= them. My teeth are sweating that's how bat I want to **** you up, you herb ass piece of ****. **** you and your mother, AND what???????LETS DO THIS nOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. you MIGHT AS WELL APOLOGIZE AND CALM ME DOWN, CAUSE i WILL BE SEEING YOU. OH NY THE WAY, SINCE i HAVEN'T TOUCHED YOU???, THERE iS NO LAW FOR HARNESSING
His teeth are sweating? 
