Heres some ricer humor...

[88Stangboy]

Sorry i was reading these on MuscleCarClub.com and was laughing my ass off....I had to share :SNSign:

All Motor
Definition: No nitrous, no blower, or turbo.
Sentence: That guy wanted to race our Camaro "all motor." We didn't know what that meant so we beat him with nitrous.

Crew
Definition: The guys that do stuff for the driver, anytime, anywhere.
Sentence: I sent some guys from the crew to return my videos.

Jug Kit
Definition: Big bore or stroker engine kits.
Sentence: I put the 2.0L jug kit in my Acura.

Liter
Definition: Measure of engine displacement.
Sentence: I took my 1.6L Honda to the store and bought 2.0 liters of Coke.

NOPI
Definition: Summit of import retail guys selling stuff.
Sentence: I picked up a plastic ground effects kit and a 2-foot wing at the
NOPI show.

Pop-off or blow-off valve
Definition: The vent that vents excess turbo boost to the atmosphere.
Sentence: My blow-off valve is bigger than your blow-off valve.

Three-inch
Definition: The minimum size for exhaust tips.
Sentence: My 1-inch exhaust system feeds my big chrome muffler and 3-inch tip.

Torque
Definition: Never mind, imports don't have any.


YOU MIGHT BE A RICE BOY IF ...
... you find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude after EVERY race
... more than 20 of your mods involve shielding what is actually underneath
... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
... when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
... you can't race uphills
... you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in
... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars
... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic
... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking ass on the autocross.
... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose
... your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.
... you have 'N/T' polished on the side of car and you don't know what bracket racing is...

Im sorry, i know this isn't tech related but i thought it was funny...My friend drives a Civic and he thought it was funny...so...sorry, had to do it.

 

[mustangjoe87]

That is pretty good

 

[88Stangboy]

heres one i found on *gasp* ProjectCamaro.com

Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight,
I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
To beat this damn Camaro, even with its big blower,
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The Camaro erupts in clouds of tire smoke,
Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,
Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when V8 gets traction,
Grabbing second, I hear the RPM's sing,
My mirror is blocked by my shopping kart wing,
I now hear the roar of the big monster gaining,
All I can do is keeping the four-banger straining,
In a second, the shock wave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying now a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool, like you can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver back off just to give me a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing,"
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow…it will be a better night.

"RICE, IT'S Whats FOR DINNER"


If anybody has any post them...i find this type of thing very funny...

 

[90mustangGT]

I've heard all those before, not too bad hearing them again. The sad thing is that they arn't as funny as they are true.

My starter has more torque than your ricemobile.
My lug nuts require more torque than your honda makes.
You might be a ricer if your muffler has more displacment than your motor.
Just because you burnt less gas durring the race, doesnt' make you an automatic winner.

The sad thing is that the V6 mustang is probally one of the most common riced out cars on the road.

We all have to understand that making a car fast is a little beyond the economical as well as knowlege of many people. Some don't want to make thier cars faster, but they are into them, and want to do things to be different and such. I can understand this, but what makes you a ricer is when your cross the line into a poser. It's almost as bad as these middle, and upper class suburbian kids trying to be like gangsters. How about these guys that have never riden a horse before grab a hat and some boots and think they are cowboys. I wish people would drop the BS and just be themselves.

 

[Euphoric306]

might be a ricer if your exhaust tip cross section is bigger than the contact patch of all four tires put together...

your engine has twice as much horsepower as torque

your dyno sheet says max horsepower = 225 hp @ 14235rpm

you ever thought wearing a backwards, upside-down visor was cool

you put a rear aero spoiler on a FWD car

you strip the interior of your car for weight savings but add hundreds of pounds of stereo equipment, neon lights, ground effects, spoilers, etc.

you claim to have lost the race because you had a passenger

your exhaust tip fell off halfway down the 1/4 mile and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings

you shift your automatic into neutral at stoplights to fool people into thinking you drive a stick

you ever thought a cold air intake gave you more than 5 horsepower

i see this all the time... aftermarket wheels/low profile tires on the rear, but steelie dans with 175 tires up front? do they know the rear wheels dont give them any more traction????

like the one about the shiftlight hahaha

 

[Dbeck002]

You know youre a ricer when your car has 3 or more different color body panels (one has to be primer).

 

[txstang84]

hey there dbeck, take it easy with the primer comments-imports are not the only people who have primered panels on their car. i'm ok with spending more money on the engine/drivetrain than the color...look at my avatar, I've got a primered car with a maroon hatch, and the primer on the front isn't the same as the rest of the car-does that make me a ricer? think not...

 

[Dbeck002]

You know youre a ricer when your car has 3 or more different color body panels (one has to be primer).

I dont understand how you fit this discription.


lol chill out.

 

[Paul Perreca]

I dont understand how you fit this discription.


lol chill out.

Agreed lol -

You know your a domestic ricer when you don't know how many camshaft (s) are in your pushrod V8

 

[Dbeck002]

Agreed lol -

You know your a domestic ricer when you don't know how many camshaft (s) are in your pushrod V8

LOL i encounter one about every week.

Guy in FBody Camaro:

Guy: "Hey man nice 5.0"

Me: "Thanks"

Me: "So what do you have under there (pointing at the hood)"

Guy: "Right now just exhaust and cams"

Me: "Right..."





Domestic rice is worse than import rice.

I once encountered a man that said he had an X cam in his 1996 mustang.

And claimed the cam increased his compression which is why it made more power. I just agreed, i couldn't respond to him due to sheer speechlessness.

 

[Daggar]

This thread is not TECH!

 

[RacEoHolic330]

jeez daggar, you're late AGAIN. I'm highly disappointed in your performance.

 

[88Stangboy]

I dont understand import guys. They spend money on cars they 'think' are fast, yet they blow all their money on bumpers and stickers, etc. If they want to go fast, get a V-8. The ones that are decently fast and can mybe take down some mostly stock 5.0's, LT1's, etc. They may have spent $20,000 on the engine alone, hell i spent about $7,000 on my engine and im not to far off from mid-elevens now, last time i made it to the strip i ran a 12.3@113. Anyways, the only reason i would buy a Honda or Acura is not to spend $80 bucks driving back and fourth to work. But i do like primer. It nothing but cheap paint in my opinion, don't have to worry about scratching it either.

 

[StreetDreamsGT]

I was talkin wit my one friend today, told me how he blew up his engine in his honda (don't remember what kind it was i'm not up on honda engines). Anyway he's telling me bout how he rebuilt this new engine and is putting it in, it's really gonna be quick and all. (the kid had once told my friend he regrets buying the car hooked up because it's too fast for him) So i'm there lookin at the civic while he's workin on it and finally he tells me yea she should be putting out about 250 rwhp, the last engine had about 220 or so. So yea.....I keep it nice around my ricer friends and said nothing in response, but wow is that reallllly the case with most ricers? I mean I hear allll tha time how quick he is from everyone n is riceritis reallly this serious?

 

[Blk91stang]

I don't agree with ONE of them. Is having a shift light in an automatic such a bad thing? I have one in mine so I can watch the road and the rest of the other important guages like oil and fuel pressure..