Met the girl of my dreams today
- Thread starter BDT 1967
- Start date
chepsk8
Founding Member
Ummmm I don't understand, My innocent mind cant think of what bunny's are good at. That is definatly a funny story, I will let you in on it later, i have to finish up some work so i can go home, I will tell you about it laters.
StangDreamin'
Founding Member
Okay, Cheapie; since I snagged the "dangle" comment before you could; you take this one
chepsk8
Founding Member
Okay, Cheapie; since I snagged the "dangle" comment before you could; you take this one
Why thank you, my esteemed partner in :SNSign: crime, dis-order, and mayhem.
Andy, you did take biology in school, yes? And, do you know why there are soooooooooooooooooooooo many Easter Bunnies?
Yeah, as a matter of fact, our family used to have a couple bunny rabbits as pets, and we learned early on, if you have 2 bunny rabbits it doesnt take long to have 6 bunny rabbits.
chepsk8
Founding Member
So, if that logic followed, how long until a litter of little, um, pit crew trainees, is deliverd?
Geez.......I take one little nap in the back of The Closet and the next thing I know the yard is littered with baby bunny rabbits and dangles (what ever the hell a dangle is, or is that what y'all call jackalopes out thar?)!!!
And before you make any quips about the weather StDr, YES we're currently having artic temps here. Ol Mom Nature is being a biotch this year....a couple of nice sunny, warmer (hi 40s) days, then WHAMMO! winter is howling back with sub zero temps and forty mile an hour winds.................
Next year, I hibernate!
And before you make any quips about the weather StDr, YES we're currently having artic temps here. Ol Mom Nature is being a biotch this year....a couple of nice sunny, warmer (hi 40s) days, then WHAMMO! winter is howling back with sub zero temps and forty mile an hour winds.................
Next year, I hibernate!
1320stang
Founding Member
You know, when I think 'dangle' I think of this story.
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth
was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head
injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I
reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt
a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem then one morning, I
was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me
from the kitchen.
"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There
was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely
cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to
find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it
wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our
new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied
hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked
me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging
from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this
predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was
fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully
impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt
naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse,
having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as
they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical
laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the
office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head
injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it
was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
.....No.........
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth
was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head
injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I
reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt
a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem then one morning, I
was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me
from the kitchen.
"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There
was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely
cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to
find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it
wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our
new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied
hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked
me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging
from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this
predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was
fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully
impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt
naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse,
having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as
they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical
laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the
office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head
injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it
was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
.....No.........
1320stang
Founding Member
That is a funny story..........similar but true, this one happened to me about 10 years ago.........I woke up on my back one morning to find my g/f of the time giving me a "hand job" 
Well we had this year old kitten that like to attack things that moved under the sheets, usually our feet. Not this morning..........
As our kitten descended from about 10,000 feet in full pounce with ALL four sets of claws fully extended my girlfriend yanked her hand away leaving me with just the sheet protecting my vital organs....................
My g/f friend laughed so hard she fell out of bed onto her butt, taking the sheet with her and leaving me completely exposed just in time for her two teenagers, the dog and my other cat to come running in investigating the blood curdling screams, kitty shrieks and banshee howling emanating from our room!
gee, I wonder why I never married her........
Well we had this year old kitten that like to attack things that moved under the sheets, usually our feet. Not this morning..........As our kitten descended from about 10,000 feet in full pounce with ALL four sets of claws fully extended my girlfriend yanked her hand away leaving me with just the sheet protecting my vital organs....................
My g/f friend laughed so hard she fell out of bed onto her butt, taking the sheet with her and leaving me completely exposed just in time for her two teenagers, the dog and my other cat to come running in investigating the blood curdling screams, kitty shrieks and banshee howling emanating from our room!
gee, I wonder why I never married her........
StangDreamin'
Founding Member
And this is why, after 23+ years of marriage, both "the li'l missus" and I have finally learned to evict all dogs, cats, and children and lock the bedroom doors when we decide to get "playful". (Most of the time)
Although, Mrs StDr did in fact rather enjoy it last winter when Latigo (Tink's dog) flew in through the kitchen doggie door and into our bedroom and hopped up on the bed to see what all the ruckus was about. Three times he stuck his very cold, very wet nose in a sensitive area (I had just had that "full physical for guys over 40" the week before) while I was performing my husbandly duties.
"Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!...... WOW!"
"Awwww shucks, Honey"
(Thinking to myself: "D@mn dog, GET OUT!!!!")
Although, Mrs StDr did in fact rather enjoy it last winter when Latigo (Tink's dog) flew in through the kitchen doggie door and into our bedroom and hopped up on the bed to see what all the ruckus was about. Three times he stuck his very cold, very wet nose in a sensitive area (I had just had that "full physical for guys over 40" the week before) while I was performing my husbandly duties.
"Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod!...... WOW!"
"Awwww shucks, Honey"
(Thinking to myself: "D@mn dog, GET OUT!!!!")
Ya....I learned that lesson the hard (sharp and pointy) way!
To this day I'm not sure which hurt worse........the ten point (claw) landing, or the immediate full power launch for the door as I went vertical.................
To this day I'm not sure which hurt worse........the ten point (claw) landing, or the immediate full power launch for the door as I went vertical.................
This is why I love the internet. How else could I hear such candid stories of real men's younger years without it? The sheer age difference wouldn't allow you to talk so freely if we were in person.
You guys are great, glad there's such a community online.
(Yes, it is 4am. Yes I'm a college student. Yes for some odd reason I'm checking Stangnet. I'm surprised I can type at this point. Not only that, but I'm spelling well!)
Goodnight guys. Anyone else with stories, go for it!
You guys are great, glad there's such a community online.
(Yes, it is 4am. Yes I'm a college student. Yes for some odd reason I'm checking Stangnet. I'm surprised I can type at this point. Not only that, but I'm spelling well!)
Goodnight guys. Anyone else with stories, go for it!
StangDreamin'
Founding Member
It's not "the Internet"...... old guys have for millenia regaled younger guys with tales good and bad. It's a way of passing along ideas and advice; only now -thanks to the Internet- the listenership can be much greater.
And I was a young college kid once...... today I'm an "old guy" with a family and responsibilities. Some days I wish I were in your shoes again. Most days I don't.
Must close now, as the dogs are standing at the bedroom door, whining to be let back in. Right now, I don't think Mrs StDr is gonna wake back back up to open the door for them.
And I was a young college kid once...... today I'm an "old guy" with a family and responsibilities. Some days I wish I were in your shoes again. Most days I don't.
Must close now, as the dogs are standing at the bedroom door, whining to be let back in. Right now, I don't think Mrs StDr is gonna wake back back up to open the door for them.
jes72mustang
New Member
The Kitty and dog stories are great. It is hard to contain that kind of laughter in the middle of a cube farm (office with cubicles).
When the wife and I first got married we had a minature daschound. He felt that whenever the romance started it was playtime and would run to retrieve his tennis ball or toughie. He would bring whichever item he found most easily back to wherever the action was taking place and conveniently drop it amidst the action.
Now 15 plus years later like stangdreamin, it is no pets or kids and locked doors when things get intimate.
When the wife and I first got married we had a minature daschound. He felt that whenever the romance started it was playtime and would run to retrieve his tennis ball or toughie. He would bring whichever item he found most easily back to wherever the action was taking place and conveniently drop it amidst the action.
Now 15 plus years later like stangdreamin, it is no pets or kids and locked doors when things get intimate.
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