Stupidest thing you've ever heard about car performance

[NIKwoaC]

Thats about right... considering after the chop shop gets done with it that is what it will weigh.

I just remembered one. The Maxton Mile is basically a mile long drag strip in North Carolina that only measures your speed at the end of the track, I have a coworker that goes there sometimes. This kid came in with a typically modded SRT4 Neon and clearly said he figured his car could get at least 200mph.

Apparently the salesman at the dealership told my uncle his new 350Z would do 200mph.

 

[rbonella]

But the speedo said 200, it only went 140mph....I want my $ back.

 

[LaserSVT]

This isnt the dumbest thing I heard only the most recient. While having a recall done on my car I was looking at the 2010 GT out front and the salesman tells me it has 500 HP and is the new GT500. I informed him it was a 315hp GT and that the new GT500 has 540 hp.

I once heard a kid with a 91 RX-7 tell another guy that he was waiting on some aluminum heads that would put it over 400 hp. I had to glance in the engine bay and sure enough it still had the rotary in it.

 

[whitesqual]

When I had my last mustang, I was car hunting with a friend who was looking for an DSM. We pull into a stealership and get out and are walking around looking at some cars. A salesman walks up and asks what we are looking for. My friend tells him that he wants something that will keep up with me. He gets this look and says that they have just the thing. He walks us over to a group of cars and points at a new beetle. We both start laughing. He gets this bewildered look on his face and says "This is way faster than that mustang, get in and look at the odometer". We left.

 

[dls322]

2 Words: Spark Plugs

For some reason people claim that switching to the expensive "super-fire-triple-platinum-space shuttle" spark plugs that cost 8 dollars each add massive power. The kid who worked on my Xbox claimed that if he switched his 1990 Z-24 cavalier over to them he would pickup 60hp.

 

[Shaolin Crane]

when the 08 f-450 came out i went down totest drive it and actually considered picking it up, i knew all the specs on the thing but i wanted to test the sales person, when i asked her how much oil it held she said, its runs on diesel not oil, then i asked how much power it makes and she said "something close to 500hp" i walked out laughing

 

[AMNick]

This is still my favorite dumb car owner story to this day.

Back in college my roommate and I were over playing Street Fighter II Turbo and drinking many many beers at a friend's house when some kid our friend knew came bursting through the front door, practically barfing out the words "Hands down...I own the fastest car ever! I just beat a Mustang Cobra!"

Ignoring the obvious over exaggeration, never having met the kid we decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and asked him what he had...after all he did say he just beat a Cobra. To which he replied a Daytona...freaking sweet!

Eager to check out this glorious piece of Muscle Car history we stumbled outside beers in hand and what did we see...(I think you know where this is going)...none other then a beat up, rust spotted, late '80s early '90s 4 cylinder Daytona.

Stunned we proceeded to ask him why he thought his car was "the fastest car ever" to which he replied, "I blew my motor and had an engine swap done from a LeBarron...it now has a V6!!!" You can imagine the fun we had at this kid's expense after he said that.

 

[LaserSVT]

Damn Daytonas!

On another site I am on I just saw someone this week reply to another member when asked if he was going to get an exhaust system for his Mark VIII. "Nah, I already have a super fast weekend toy. Its my Shelby Daytona"
The very next post was from me:


They were such POS cars I cant believe Carrol let his name go on them.

 

[nick6690]

if you put pam or vasoline on the black of the fenders the burnt rubber whipes right off, if you dont you will f up your paint trying to peel the rubber off.

no he was spraying the stuff all over the front of the car.

 

[91foxbod50]

I've had a lot of laughs reading this so far, so here's my story. This marine I work with got a 2000 cobra. Wich I found out today is actually a kit car. But one day I was bull****ting with him and said his car would be sick with 410s in it if only it wasn't his daily. So the next week I see him at work and he goes bro I got the 410s installed and topped out at 200 last night. I also beat a new camaro

O yeah, I was looking under the hood today and he also has a blown head gasket. Dumbash

 

[Nosfurato]

if you put pam or vasoline on the black of the fenders the burnt rubber whipes right off, if you dont you will f up your paint trying to peel the rubber off.

Bingo!!! Old racers trick. Doesn't make it faster down the track.. but, makes it a LOT easier to clean off!!

 

[Nosfurato]

no he was spraying the stuff all over the front of the car.

Its possible he was worried about Bugs??? lol I dunno,.. but that's the first time I have heard that one.

 

[rbonella]

91foxbod50, I thought you were going to say he installed 4 10" subs in his car. Helarious!

couple weeks ago we were hanging at a friends house when his neighbor pulled up in his 84 honda accord (young kid) He had NOS, Eibach, AutoMeter, Flowmaster, MSD, and JEGS stickers all over his windows. My friend asked him what kind of car he was building, he replied "I'm not?" OK, rock on dude!

 

[Cobra912]

2 Words: Spark Plugs

For some reason people claim that switching to the expensive "super-fire-triple-platinum-space shuttle" spark plugs that cost 8 dollars each add massive power. The kid who worked on my Xbox claimed that if he switched his 1990 Z-24 cavalier over to them he would pickup 60hp.

I love this one. How about the dryer vent hose to the air filter 75 hp trick as one kid told me. His neon was pushing 250 hp according to him........

 

[LaserSVT]

I've had a lot of laughs reading this so far, so here's my story. This marine I work with got a 2000 cobra. Wich I found out today is actually a kit car. But one day I was bull****ting with him and said his car would be sick with 410s in it if only it wasn't his daily. So the next week I see him at work and he goes bro I got the 410s installed and topped out at 200 last night. I also beat a new camaro

O yeah, I was looking under the hood today and he also has a blown head gasket. Dumbash

I am confused, its a 2000 Mustang GT with a Cobra body kit or is it a 2000 Cobra Kit Car like a Factory Five? The only 2000 Cobra was the R which would spank a new Camaro.

That reminds me though, I have met people that did 4.10s and didnt correct their speedo and have bragged about topping out their 140 speedo.
"Yeah, I did 140 in 5th gear and it was only at 3700 rpm!" I do the math and inform them they were only going about 100.

 

[Mustang5L5]

This one is the best i've ever heard.


"The reason Ford built the Mustang was because after WWII they needed somewhere to put the engines from all the P-51 Mustangs they had left over"

 

[nisreo]

I had a kid in a cavalier pull up to a local meet one day talking about how fast his car was. He popped the hood and it had the usual WAI and dupli-color mods. He then informed me that he just took the turbo off last week because he blew a seal on it... I told him he did an awesome job at keeping the rust on his header bolts in perfect shape.

 

[-Nick-]

I had a kid in a cavalier pull up to a local meet one day talking about how fast his car was. He popped the hood and it had the usual WAI and dupli-color mods. He then informed me that he just took the turbo off last week because he blew a seal on it... I told him he did an awesome job at keeping the rust on his header bolts in perfect shape.

 

[caseywan]

Right when the 08 Bullit Mustang came out, I was at the dealership getting some work done on my car. They had a Bullit sitting out front and I was looking it over when a salesman comes up talking to me:

Him: That's one sweet Mustang, fast as hell too!

Me: Oh yeah, what's it got over a regular GT?

Him: It's got the Cobra motor and 4.5" exhaust and the styling is more aerodynamic!

Me: 4.5" huh?

Him: Yeah it adds tons of power!

 

[LarsD]

I was getting the 91 inspected a couple of months ago and a goober that works there was telling me about his "friend" who had a Fox body that had 700 hp. Interested I asked him what was done to it (big mistake on my part). Supposedly it was a "stroker" 309, that would turn 11,000 rpm, with no power adder, stock block and stock heads (they had been "worked"). With a stock T5 and stock rear. All I could do was nod my head, feign amazement, and bite down on my tongue real hard. He also was telling me how he drove it and almost killed himself because it was so amazingly fast. Worst part about it, was this guy was actually a mechanic who was working on a customer's car.