I gave up trying to figure out the punctuation so you'll just have to deal with what I came up with while transcribing it.
Once upon a time, she liked a kitten. Her father kicked my dog, who bit the hand that but then got stuck reaching inside. I shot him in the leg with the crossbow I made from Chevy axles stolen from some stupid bag lady who said I was eating gumbo off of a monkey's cave floor. Then a hungry monkey told me he puked all over his Honda and wiped his greasy caca infested big toe on the other foot from his red ass burnt from GBM. Then some ugly purple llama spat DOT3 and jello all over his girlfriend who smelled like she had just eaten a tire carcass and farted blowing out greasy chunks of roadkill across the striking crowd of sheeple. But then, flashing his little warrior with blue fuzz and a blue colored football helmet hanging over the edge and drooling on her pasta fazul draped with a fuzzy closet monster. Then Zookeeper fought over a banana autographed by Joe Mama and kissed The Hopkinator on his big hairy fish lips and screeched Thank God for Listerine! My mouth is on a football! The monkeys are after my LuckyCharms! The jacuzzi is full of MEN!!!!!!!!!! Run! Run! Run as fast as a paraplegic on crack in a twin turbo go-kart on propane going downhill toward a brick wall/Canadian bonfire where a Christmas confectionary, that appeared halfbaked, made by a canadian who spanked his wife's hockey puck for choking a chicken and spanking one of the Monkees. Then the shaking chihuahua lit a hand-rolled Cuban imigrant who burned brightly during the Barret-Jackson auction. He was picking his dirty socks of cookie dough crumbs with a Hydrolicly powered loufa sponge. Suddenly a trumpet sounded and I came out of her matchbox car made from toilet paper used by the llama and recycled. Just then Mr. Closet-Dawg stepped in and drank 20 quarts of nawzzzz gutter juice while eating an LS1. Jumping into rice-a-roni feet first hitting his belly button on his NAWZS sticker tatooed on his forearm while holding a woman's enormous purse made from Baseball game, rained out. ( ) She interrupted the action of your oscillating fan. Whistles dixie at the passing Sheeple flying black helicopters overhead dropping old men holding cuisinarts wearing kilts and boxers. When suddenly the flapping of his fish lips kept time with the dripping faucet. Suddenly she tossed me a kiss tied to a brick that came through the gutter jello before it hit me. That's when it broke my coccyx. Tomorrow I will go off in my ford and find the end of the rainbow was surrounded by black helicopters but protected by three old geezers drivin' Hop's Eleanor and yelling "Beat me hard with a sausage. The geezers went nuts after gp001 touched their nasty, stanky fuzzy dice! One of them ate a sheeple and exclaimed dropping a "Mmmm, good! Tastes like gingerbread cookie." I want a new jacuzzi pump with a flux capacitor. The end justifies the beginning of the middle which never begins; it just continues. The end then takes us all to the edge of the erupting volcano. The end has not begun yet and will and will never come even if you keep on posting "The End." But gp001 will try to love two monkeys shaved clean soaked in good beer and playing with a football and picking flowers in a dress with a magic wand up his dead end that was real gay. The end justifies the return of Chelle's avatar and her blonde sister with the bunny ears and black bow tie with the pink polka-dots. It's weird that all gp001 can say is "rain sucks" cause he eats it with a poop encrusted golden spoon that said Joey Butafooko . . .