How far would you go for something you really want?

MysteryMachine · Jul 22, 2006

shes not controling me she actually has a good point which is why i decided to wait to fix it. If I do an engine swap I'm gonna need a garage. theres no way I can do it in my driveway.

Paul every guy talks a little about the personal stuff. Its not like I'm going into full detail on what we do. theres nothing wrong with admiting you have sex with your wife we all know you do it ya just had a kid.

Eveybody thinks cause shes young we won't work out.

rrudholm · Jul 22, 2006

You want some advice from an older guy that’s been married for 16 years. Well, you’re going to. First off, the big misconception that Americans (us) have is that things will make you happy. This is false, people and relationships are what you need to concentrate on. With two jobs you are going to be a machine with no social life and when the novelty of the house wears off, you will be left kicking yourself and unhappy. Believe me on this next statement. Having a wife is different than having a girlfriend, especially when kids are added. This in it’s self is A LOT of work. You need time for her or you will not make it. As far as marriage goes, just make sure you and your girlfriend have discussed and agree on the following: Religion (do you share the same faith) Money (you need to work together with your budget and share accounts not separate. There is no mine and yours here) In-laws (do you both get along with your in-laws and if not how do you handle this. Work it out) Children (how many, what’s their names, how you going to raise them, what school are they going to). I could keep going but you need to put a lot of
thought into everything before you get married. Make this a logical choice not one based on emotion. If you are going to buy a house, do not do more than a 15 year fixed rate and keep your payment ¼ of your income. Keep in mind that your going to build equity much faster this way and you will eventually be able to have the house of your dreams later and paid off as well. Or do you want to do what most people do and give all their hard earned money to the bank with the 30 year loan. If you do things right when your young you won’t suffer when you get to be my age. Live like no one else now so that later you can live like no on else as Dave Ramsey says. This is a good statement. Keep control of your wants and live smart. Good luck!

Killercanary · Jul 22, 2006

rrudholm said:
You want some advice from an older guy that’s been married for 16 years. Well, you’re going to. First off, the big misconception that Americans (us) have is that things will make you happy. This is false, people and relationships are what you need to concentrate on. With two jobs you are going to be a machine with no social life and when the novelty of the house wears off, you will be left kicking yourself and unhappy. Believe me on this next statement. Having a wife is different than having a girlfriend, especially when kids are added. This in it’s self is A LOT of work. You need time for her or you will not make it. As far as marriage goes, just make sure you and your girlfriend have discussed and agree on the following: Religion (do you share the same faith) Money (you need to work together with your budget and share accounts not separate. There is no mine and yours here) In-laws (do you both get along with your in-laws and if not how do you handle this. Work it out) Children (how many, what’s their names, how you going to raise them, what school are they going to). I could keep going but you need to put a lot of
thought into everything before you get married. Make this a logical choice not one based on emotion. If you are going to buy a house, do not do more than a 15 year fixed rate and keep your payment ¼ of your income. Keep in mind that your going to build equity much faster this way and you will eventually be able to have the house of your dreams later and paid off as well. Or do you want to do what most people do and give all their hard earned money to the bank with the 30 year loan. If you do things right when your young you won’t suffer when you get to be my age. Live like no one else now so that later you can live like no on else as Dave Ramsey says. This is a good statement. Keep control of your wants and live smart. Good luck!

Great post!

MysteryMachine · Jul 22, 2006

rrudholm said:
You want some advice from an older guy that’s been married for 16 years. Well, you’re going to. First off, the big misconception that Americans (us) have is that things will make you happy. This is false, people and relationships are what you need to concentrate on. With two jobs you are going to be a machine with no social life and when the novelty of the house wears off, you will be left kicking yourself and unhappy. Believe me on this next statement. Having a wife is different than having a girlfriend, especially when kids are added. This in it’s self is A LOT of work. You need time for her or you will not make it. As far as marriage goes, just make sure you and your girlfriend have discussed and agree on the following: Religion (do you share the same faith) Money (you need to work together with your budget and share accounts not separate. There is no mine and yours here) In-laws (do you both get along with your in-laws and if not how do you handle this. Work it out) Children (how many, what’s their names, how you going to raise them, what school are they going to). I could keep going but you need to put a lot of
thought into everything before you get married. Make this a logical choice not one based on emotion. If you are going to buy a house, do not do more than a 15 year fixed rate and keep your payment ¼ of your income. Keep in mind that your going to build equity much faster this way and you will eventually be able to have the house of your dreams later and paid off as well. Or do you want to do what most people do and give all their hard earned money to the bank with the 30 year loan. If you do things right when your young you won’t suffer when you get to be my age. Live like no one else now so that later you can live like no on else as Dave Ramsey says. This is a good statement. Keep control of your wants and live smart. Good luck!

Thanks for your input. Sounds like a lot of good things to think and talk about. Its not like I plan on getting married tomorrow or anything. Gotta wait till shes done school and we have a place so there will be time for all that.

MysticKeith50 · Jul 22, 2006

VibrantRedGT said:
Working 2 full jobs will wear you out (physically and mentally) and will put a strain on your relationship with your girl. As a guy that's been married for almost 12 years (got married at 23) I would say wait, wait, wait. That might sound like I'm having marital problems but I'm not. Date the girl for as long as you can get away with it. Trust me on this. On the house thing, well the mortgage company will tell you how much you can spend on a home. As you know lots of factors here-credit rating, net income, oustanding debt, etc.

Almost the exact thing I was going to say.

yellow1995Cobra · Jul 22, 2006

Killercanary said:
Also, if this is the girl that is the love of your life and you truely picture yourself marrying and being the mother of your childeren, do you really think its appropriate to be speaking about BJ's and your sex life with her on an internet board? I respect my wife too much to do that, and I'd think that anyone serious enough about the one they loved would act the same way.

aww comon paul, lay off him. You old guys kill me. He said one little thing.

Don't get in over your head and be "house poor." Live within your means and you'll be much happier. As for the marriage thing, I got married at a fairly young age by todays standards, I was 24. I know your girl is a lot younger than you, my advise is to can the marrage talk for a while and see what happens hen she gets out of high school and lives a little as an adult. Things may change in a big way, or they may not... but more often than not they change for the worse. You always see this with freshman college students. They go away to school all in love with their high school sweetheart and everything is fine for the first few weeks. Then they go home for Thanksgiving break and come back single. Things are just so much different once you are out of high school, maybe she won't change, but the odds are against her on that one.

Exactly right!! You hit the nail on the head with her age.

Mysterys problem is that his girl is so young, hes probably her first serious BF. I think everyone needs to "shop around" a bit before they decide to settle down.. You can always build off previous relationships(things u did wrong and right) and work from there.

MysteryMachine · Jul 22, 2006

lol like buying a car

yellow1995Cobra · Jul 22, 2006

MysteryMachine said:
lol like buying a car

Yes exactly. Couple blondes, few brunettes, test drive a red head or two, try it all bro, while u can!

Now all this can change if ur girl is into bringin other chicks home for you, then yes marry her immediatly

MysteryMachine · Jul 22, 2006

yellow1995Cobra said:
Yes exactly. Couple blondes, few brunettes, test drive a red head or two, try it all bro, while u can!

Now all this can change if ur girl is into bringin other chicks home for you, then yes marry her immediatly

thats not gonna happen

reddy351 · Jul 25, 2006

Common wisdom says to wait until you are BOTH older than 30 to get married. Hahahahahaha! (I happen to agree, kinda.) Good advise on the house. Keep in mind that you need to be prepared for the worst, when it comes to your income. If you happen to lose one or both of those jobs, how do you still make the house payment? (You aren't in complete control of things like downsizing, layoffs and the companies that you work for being bought out and not needing your title, anymore.) If you somehow manage to get hurt and can't work, how can you make the payment? As has been posted here, before, you have a LOT to think about! Slow down a little. Enjoy life.

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