I appreciate the offer, but again, I just put in a reman'ed distributor not even a week ago. I did manage to get one that appears to have the PIP replaced, as well (most of the reman units I saw had new gears and such but the OEM pickup coil still in there), so the thing's almost 100% new.
O2 sensors are new.
Fuel injector O-rings are all new. Nothing leaking at all. Only thing about the injectors that I've suspected is that one or more of them is sticking "open" and dumping too much fuel, causing a rich condition.
Fuel pressure, again, is good. Already checked it. Already have a gauge. I do NOT wanna mount that thing anywhere in my passenger area, though; I worry enough, already, about getting a minor leak and resultant engine fire from a rail-mounted fuel pressure gauge, but mounting one inside and risking having fuel sprayed right in my lap/face and then touched off would be ... well ... an easy way for me to score a nice, crispy, Freddy Krueger sort of skin texture.
As far as the exhaust ... it depends on what you'd consider "massive." It was bad enough that I could put my hand near the header flange and feel enough gas pushing out of there that it felt like someone blowing on my hand. Massive enough that I needed to fix it. So I did.
I notched the tranny crossmember today and wiggled and fought with that cat'ed UPR X-pipe 'till I reached a nice compromise between getting it to seal up, keeping it from knocking against the crossmember, and not letting it hang two inches off the ground. Everything is now nice and sealed up, quiet and squeak/rattle free, decent amount of ground clearance (though another 2" would be nice, I still scrape speed bumps like mad), and the car is comparatively quiet as a mouse in calm roundabout driving. (Under WOT, it friggin' ROARS. Much love. Bwah-hahahaha...

)
FOR THE MOMENT ... symptoms are gone. As ever before, I am reluctant to call this thing "cured" (or exorcised, as the case may be). This crap has come and gone as it's pleased for months, and its last happy spell lasted about 30 days. Driving distance to work has tripled now, since I've been reassigned (finally out of the ghetto, huzzah!), and so I'll have more opportunity over the next day or so to see if this has, indeed, evicted Satan from my engine bay ... for good, this time.
But if it still ain't fixed ... any chance that a throttle position sensor can read .99 volts and still be bad? I haven't replaced it, but it does check out good, numbers-wise...